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Archive for the category “Body Positivity”

Thanks for the Mammaries

As the bearer of large breasts (DDD cup) any type of message that leads to my not only getting to keep them but also giving me an opportunity to prevent breast cancer I am ALL for it! No my life would not be over if I didn’t have breasts but I have become a bit attached to them. As much as they get in the way I love them. They are natural and I have made my peace with their occasional inconveniences in favor of the convenient fun I get out of having them. I have even taken to proudly wearing lower cut necklines. I didn’t always feel they had a lot to offer.


Squeezing breasts could prevent cancer, best study ever say

Getting to second base, the holy grail for hormonal boys, is now science: New research has shown that squeezing breasts could prevent malignant breast cells from causing cancer. This doesn’t give pervy dudes license to grope you on the subway, ladies, but it does mean boob-grabbing should be a regular part of your self-care routine (yes, absolutely try it DIY-style). Experiments found that physical pressure led cells back to normal growth patterns, and that even after compression was no longer applied, the malignant cells stopped growing. Spread the word, boob-lovers of the world.

Read the Full Article:

7 Amazing Things to Know About Breasts

Breasts want freedom.
Bras restrict the movement of lymphatic fluid through the breasts, underarm, and shoulders, thus causing toxins to build up in the breast tissue. Underwire bras are the worst culprit, as the metal also can disrupt the energy flow through the breast area. A recent French study has shown that women who don’t wear bras actually have perkier breasts even as they age. Exercising, dance, and rebounding without a bra also allows the body’s movements to support lymphatic flow and proper drainage of the breasts. The natural movement of the breasts as the body exercises and moves is another essential component to lymphatic health in the breasts. (grrr…I love being braless but with size comes sag and I prefer the look of my breasts in a supportive, well fitted, underwire bra)

Breasts need massage.
There is no muscle tissue in a women’s breasts, so breasts need assistance to enhance circulation through the breast. A woman’s breasts are mostly fat tissue along with milk ducts, connective tissue, nerves, and lymph glands. Self breast massage is an important regular practice for women to support their blood and lymph circulation and reduce build-up of toxins and hormones in the fatty tissue of the breasts. Massage your breasts daily with a natural cold-pressed vegetable oil, such as coconut, almond, or jojoba oil. You can also add pure essential oils such as rose, jasmine, or clary sage to your massage oil base. I’m not talking about “man-handling” here, I’m talking about gentle self massage in which you get to know what your breasts feel like, notice any changes, and use gentle lymphatic and circulatory movements to enhance health. (This I enjoy!)

Breasts are hot.
It has been well-documented that a woman’s breasts will synchronize with her newborn baby to become the perfect temperature. When a mother and baby are skin-to-skin postpartum, her breasts will naturally adjust their temperature to regulate the baby’s body temperature optimally. A mother of twins will have each of her breasts match the ideal temperature for each one of her twins. A women’s breasts are more reliable and efficient than any baby warmer. So breasts are totally hot – just not in the way people usually talk about. (Neither of my children drank from a bottle…ever)

Breastmilk has a gazillion medicinal uses.
Breastmilk is pretty much the most amazing food substance available to mankind. Mother’s milk is completely unique and not possible to replicate (despite what you may have heard from the formula companies). It actually changes minute by minute, day to day, to provide exactly the right nourishment and immunities that a baby needs as determined by the breast through receiving information from the baby’s saliva on the areola. There are over 400+ identified nutrients in human breast milk, including probiotics and an abundant source of stem cells. The first milk that comes out is colostrum, which is rich with immune factors and is considered to be “liquid gold”, and extremely important for the life-long health of the baby. Breastmilk is also used by wise mamas for many purposes including putting on diaper rash, earaches, pink eye, sore throats, and many other healing needs. When a women breastfeeds the breastmilk bathes her milk ducts as it passes through to her baby, thus providing increased breast health and preventing breast cancer in direct relation to how long she nurses. (Yeah…breastmilk is truly amazing…tastes good too!)

Breasts are energy centers.
Traditional Chinese Medicine is a complete system of health that has been practiced for thousands of years, based upon the movement of energy through the body on the meridians (energy lines) and acupoints (nodes of energy on the meridians). There are six meridians that run through the breast area, and three of them are the Kidney, Liver, and Stomach meridians where most breast lumps and cancer develop. TCM treats breast cancer by addressing the energy stagnation and movement of qi. Acupuncture and TCM are holistic ways to promote breast health and can be used in combination with other health care treatments as well. Massaging the acupressure points along the meridians, or holding these energy points around the breasts, can help with promoting breast and whole body health and vitality. Underwire bras can also interfere with the energy moving through the meridians in the breasts, another reason to let your boobs go free, or invest in a soft supportive natural fiber bra. (Will have to look into this further)

Breasts are a lot like canaries.
You’ve heard about the canary in the coal mine? Miners would take canaries down in the mines with them, because the birds were so sensitive that if the environment was toxic the canaries would die, and then the miners would know to get out of there immediately! Breasts are extremely sensitive, they receive information from the environment and their tissues collect toxins and hormones, like jet fuel and flame retardants. When breastfeeding, the saliva from the baby is absorbed into the areola and the breasts then immediately respond by providing the nutrients and immune factors that the baby needs based upon the breast’s incredibly sensitive receptors. Breast cancer is now the most common form of cancer for women in the US, and it’s not because breasts or our genes are the problem. Our breasts are the canaries letting us know that our environment is toxic and we must make changes in our health, diets, exposure, and detox. Due to the over 70,000 chemicals now used in the US over the last 100 years, we are living in a toxic soup and exposed to chemicals in our air, food, water, homes, cars, clothes, and more. Our breasts are letting us know that we need to create a healthy change for our longevity and the future generations. (Mind blown yet?)

Breasts are beautiful.
Your breasts are perfect for you. All kinds of breasts are beautiful. Breasts change in shape and size over life, and that’s okay. Some men like large breasts, others prefer small breasts, and some like medium sized. Whatever shape or size of your boobs is just right. Love your breasts! They have superpowers, they are intelligent, and they are amazing! In Mongolia, when a baby fusses, everyone lifts up their shirt and shakes their breasts for the baby, and the baby calms down and looks around amazed. Everyone laughs and smiles shaking their boobs, including mom, grandma, and grandpa too! So smile and love your boobs, they are awesome. (Mongolia you say? I knew they were cool somehow…now I know. hehe)

Viva La Boobies!

Read the Full Article:

So, I have even more pride in my breasts now more than ever. I will be placing a lot more focus on the girls (a term I never really used) and squeeze them for extra love AND preventative measures.

Self Presents

Nope I didn’t spell that wrong. This is my birthday weekend and I bought myself a present this year! I have been touting body positivity and really appreciating more and more about my sexy curves. So what better way to celebrate my skin than to show more of it. So this year, with the encouragement of girlfriends and inspiration of online bloggers with hot curves, I bought myself my first bikini EVER!

20130530-111927.jpgOne of my favorite bloggers The Militant Baker posted How To Get A Swimsuit Body In Less Than 5 Minutes!

1. retrieve preferred swimsuit
2. put on said swimsuit
3. look in mirror
4. exclaim “HOT DAMN I am one sexy bitch!”

Optional: strut like you just don’t care.

Well Here it IS!!! Making it happen. The more I wear it the more comfortable I feel in it. Fortunately the people in my life are not only supportive but encouraging. I have been consumed by a self image hating mentality for long enough. It is time to change gears and wear a whole new set of glasses that finally view my form as beautiful. I don’t have to like ever little piece but loving the package is a big deal. What is funny is I never thought that I wasn’t sexy. I just always got nervous when the time came to get naked. The more I revealed the more I needed validation or reassurance from my partner that they were happy with how I was made/ what I had to offer and NOT ONE has ever made me feel anything but sexy!

Other inspiring articles that helped me see the light include:

6 Bikini Body Truths to Remember for This Summer

BodyPosiBikiniBabes tumblr

Girls on Girls

When I was in college I was in a class that focused on Women’s Issues and of course the class was packed with sexually open-minded ladies like myself. The only guys to grace the class were those with (or without) brain enough to realize this was going to be explicit shit. I saw more pussy in this class than in all the porn videos I had seen to date. (to be honest I hadn’t seen all that much at that point but I changed that later) I learned all about Annie Sprinkle and felt empowered that my body was awesome…even down there!

It was in this class that we broke into small discussion groups and started talking, off topic mind you, about each others “lesbian” experiences. I really didn’t think I could be all that included in the conversation since my status has always been staunchly focused on the acquisition of cock not pussy. But as some of the girls began recounting their experiences I said to myself “HEY…I’ve showered intimately with another girl and wanted to touch her.”, “I have fingered another girl under the covers while she fingered me.”, and by the time the conversation was over I had racked up at least 4 seperate experiences and that made me feel a bit better about how, not only, normal I was but how open minded outside of my previously conceived sexual rigidity I was.

Amusingly the guy in our group sat silently among us hesitant to speak and disturb any of the stories being recounted, not unlike a zoologist observing the wild creatures around them…no sudden movements. hehe We would each glance over to him like an outsider and snicker and giggle as he stared out like he was behind a pane of glass. One girl really had a talent for making him squirm…on purpose. But I digress…

A close friend introduced me to the following author, and her writing really struck a chord with me. I have included an excerpt from her book The Straight Girl’s Guide to Sleeping with Chicks by Jen Sincero. Don’t forget that my comments are the one’s in bold brackets.

The Joy of Sex with Chicks

…Several things about this experience (sleeping with chicks) really struck me, because they were so remarkably different from being with a guy.

1. When you are with another girl the roles can switch back and forth in a much more equal way than they do with a guy. You can be the butch one, totally in control, throwing her around in bed then switch to being submissively girly. It obviously depends on who you are sleeping with, since some women identify with being more dominant or submissive and aren’t up for flippy-flopping, but if you get with someone who hasn’t chosen sides you can switch back and forth and feel fully in either role, which I find incredibly hot. This is not to say you can’t do something similar with men-I have been with stunningly open and experimental guys-but even if you put them in a dress, strap them down, and make them call you Daddy they still have a dick and you still have a pussy, which automatically makes them more masculine and you more feminine. Without that biological reality you’re totally free to be whatever, and I found that incredibly liberating to feel one hundred percent on both sides. (Even though I believe I have chosen the submissive side I am not particularly sure I would feel like I have should I have the opportunity to be with another woman. And this just illustrates how it could be advantageous to BE more open should you partner also be up for the dual role switching.)
2. The way women orgasm is so different from the way guys do. We don’t need to stop and recharge before starting up again, so we can go on till the break of dawn without a time-out. I never in my life had non-stop sessions like i did with girls. It’s crazy! It can bring you to a state of prolonged excitement that it’s almost unbearable. There were times when I thought I was going to have a heart attack. (This is where I am kicking myself. Well first of all, I have NEVER been with a guy that felt any interest in giving me more than one, two at the most, orgasms so this experience ALONE would rock my world so I can only imagine it would be just as amazing for her.)
3. I found that everytime I did something to her I could imagine doing it to myself. So much so that I could practically feel it even if I wasn’t touching myself at all. The combo of watching her get off and imagining what it must feel like could bring me to orgasm. (I have never done this but can get behind the idea of actually feeling something happening despite not having any actual physical stimulation.)
4. Women’s bodies are incredibly soft! They are like the softest pillows in the world. This has made me totally understand why men go apeshit over us. It also made me aware of my own body’s softness, and made me feel incredibly sexy in a way I never had before. (Just reading this made me really think hard about my own body and feel a bit more comfortable in my own skin.)
5. Lastly, because we live in a society that has a large stick up its ass, and also because my sexual hometown is Straightsville, (I grew up in that town too!) sleeping with someone I wasn’t “supposed” to made me feel kind of kinky. This turned me on like nobody’s business. I felt a teeny bit nasty, dirty and queer, and I think this helped me step outside of my sexual box more than I ever had before. I did stuff with girls that I always wanted to try-we went to sex clubs, tied each other up, dabbled in S&M, and enjoyed the wide world of sex toys. I attribute a large part of this to the fact that I was with like-minded kinky and adventurous souls whom I trusted and … (Yeah, I have totally always trusted girls to have a more natural compassion and sensible understanding for making each other feel good and safe not just emotionally but physically. This just makes total sense that I could open up more sexually without as much fear of shame or self-consciousness…hell I flash my girlfriends tits and ass just for a laugh without a second thought so how big of a jump would it be to just touch each other??? If we were both into it that is.)
Buy the Book: Copyrighted Material

So this is also an apology to the girl I turned down. She was cute, sweet and vulnerable and I was young, sexually insecure and naive. I have regretted being an immature ass, without the good enough sense to not laugh in her face, for putting herself out there and telling me she found me attractive and wanted to go out with me. I am horrified at my 20 year old self’s behavior and if I had to go back in time I would do things very differently!!! I hope she can forgive me.

Come on, Out with it.

Faking an orgasm, for me, is one of my biggest no nos. It is either going to happen or it isn’t…for either of us. Do I feel self conscious, Yes. Does that mean I should lie about something that makes me feel euphoric, No. Does it mean if my partner works harder it will happen, Maybe. Does it mean that if he doesn’t cum that I will feel responsible, Sometimes. The real key is making eachother feel good and THAT comes with verbally acknowledging what is happening even if you aren’t sure why it isn’t “happening for you.”

I have had many times in my past sexual history gasped and moaned and even cried out but if you have EVER seen me cum it is UNMISTAKABLE. It is not something I can hide, lie about or fake because it involves my entire being. By faking an orgasm, for me, is like cheating myself. Now not ALL women feel this way and to each her or his own. My partner still knows I am enjoying myself by other signals but reaching that precipice and diving off it is not something to be dismissed like something on a checklist of chores. I refuse to spray Lysol in the room an claim I have been hard at work cleaning all day so why would I bother lying about a climax.

The article below made a lot of sense and gives insight into the reality of faking it and making it!

Why faking an orgasm isn’t as harmless as you may think. Learn how to reach your peak—for real.

Faking it happens. A lot. In fact, studies show that 60 percent of women have delivered an Oscar-worthy performance between the sheets. And while it’s commonly assumed that women pretend to climax in order to boost a partner’s ego or speed up a snoozy romp, new research from Temple University found that for many women, there are other factors at work—among them, a fear of being vulnerable, insecurity about their skills in bed, and the choice to use their faux O as a means to increase their own arousal. While there’s little harm in the occasional bluff, here’s why you should curb the counterfeit climaxing and find your true peak potential.

Fear of Vulnerability
If a woman isn’t emotionally ready to open up to her partner, faking it can be a way to keep the guy at arm’s length. A few reasons: She may be wary of becoming too dependent on the guy, or of becoming engulfed by his personality or world and thus losing herself. “There’s a vulnerability and emotional risk that comes with climaxing in front of someone,” says Yvonne K. Fulbright, Ph.D., author of Sultry Sex Talk to Seduce Any Lover. A fear of rejection or icky issues from a past relationship may also keep a woman from revealing herself. Bona fide O’s require “truly surrendering to the experience and not worrying about being judged,” she says. But if you resist letting go, it’s nearly impossible to be swept up in the awesomely authentic sensations.

O-vercome it: Amp up the trust and intimacy you need inside the bedroom by speaking up more outside of it, says Women’s Health advisor Debby Herbenick, Ph.D., author of Because It Feels Good. “Being authentic about expressing who you are is the key to better sex,” she says. Start small: Confide a secret or share an embarrassing story, and when he asks where you want to eat dinner, pick a place instead of saying “Anywhere is fine,” says Herbenick. “Men and women who are emotionally close will have an easier time being honest with their partner about how sex feels for them—whether it feels good enough to lead to an orgasm,” she says. Improve your bond during the day and you’ll be more comfortable directing him “to the left, a little softer, now faster”—and ultimately letting yourself let go—when the lights are out. (this is where I am a bit shy…gasp…I know, hard to believe but in person I like being read. It’s a quirk, not a useful one but certainly one I could change. I guess it just sounds to my ears like I am being bossy and since I lean more toward the submissive I hesitate to verbalize my needs in the moment.)

Some women put on bed-rattling performances because they’re insecure about how long it takes them to climax or what it actually takes to get them there, says Vivienne Cass, Ph.D., author of The Elusive Orgasm. “They see these highly orgasmic women in movies and think that’s the norm,” she says. Meanwhile, men who watch porn—i.e., most of them—are used to seeing women get off in seconds, which adds to the pressure.

O-vercome it: Be honest about your expectations, and push him to do the same, says Fulbright. A grand finale is not always a given. According to a study from the University of Chicago, only 5 percent of women always climax through intercourse, while nearly 35 percent rarely or never do. In fact, you and your guy probably need to get a little creative. “Research shows that most women need clitoral stimulation to orgasm, through masturbation, stimulation from a partner, or oral sex,” says Charlene L. Muehlenhard, Ph.D., professor of clinical psychology at the University of Kansas. (yeah…I don’t remember the last time or if I EVER had a vaginal orgasm. I am more of a clitoral stimulation gal myself but getting there needs communication.)

Ramp up your coital confidence by becoming more familiar with the touches and sensations that make you tick, says Herbenick. When you’re alone, try masturbating, fantasizing, or using a vibrator. When you’re with your partner, do some hotter-sex homework: Explore each other’s bodies for the sole purpose of figuring out what turns you on—with zero intention of orgasm. Then you can show each other what it takes to push you over the edge. (What’s that you say…mutual masterbation…why yes that sounds like a wonderful idea!)

Libido Enhancement
Gasps, growls, heavy breathing, and other faux-O methods can be a big turn-on for women, according to research from Erin B. Cooper, a doctoral student in clinical psychology at Temple University. In her study, women reported that imitating an orgasm increased their levels of arousal and upped the intensity of sex. Plus, common sense holds that if you appear to be on the brink of ecstasy, your guy will most likely kick things into high gear, improving the odds for an authentic finish.

O-vercome it: You may not have to. It’s usually fine to keep “fake it to make it” in your better-sex bag of tricks, as long as your guy knows it’s not his shortcoming but rather something that turns you on, says Herbenick. That said, it can be just as effective to take part in the sweaty, loud fanfare and shelve the fake finish. Try spicing things up with dirty talk (what a wonderful idea!) or visualizing having an orgasm as you approach climax, she says. It may sound like psychobabble, but imagining the sensations of an orgasm in your head—the sights, smells, and sounds—can help push you over the top. And then you can leave the faux O’s for those women on the big screen.

Now hear this: A whopping 80 percent of women admitted to making pleasure sounds such as moaning and groaning half of the time when they knew they weren’t going to climax, found researchers from the University of Central Lancashire and the University of Leeds in the U.K. Oddly enough, women reported being quiet during masturbation (I don’t personally cry out but the my heavy breathing is a big indication) and oral sex (In this scenario I try but can rarely keep quite), i.e., when they were more likely to orgasm. Why the yowls of half-hearted passion? “Women know that being loud in bed can enhance the physical intensity of the experience for her partner,” explains Diana Hoppe, M.D., author of Healthy Sex Drive, Healthy You. It’s all good to give him a little audio feedback, but if you’re not truly enjoying yourself, offer him more specific heat-of-the-moment direction in lieu of a synthetic sound track. You’ll make beautiful music—together.

His Pretend Pleasure
It’s not just us— guys fake it too. According to researchers at the University of Kansas, a quarter of the men studied said they’ve acted out an orgasm during sex. Most men reported faking it because reaching orgasm was unlikely or taking too long, while others were bored, tired, or not in the mood, says study author Charlene L. Muehlenhard, Ph.D.

The telltale signs? The men in the study who artificially O’d said they did so by thrusting harder or faster, clenching their muscles or freezing up, verbally expressing that they had reached orgasm, or acting exhausted afterward. (The study also showed that guys were more likely to say that they faked it because their partner was unattractive, while women were more likely to fess up to faking it when they felt their partner was unskilled.)

We polled guys on to get their POV on phony climaxes:

41% believe there has been a time when both he and his partner faked it.
59% say they can tell when a woman fakes it. How? (
36% say it’s because she’s overly dramatic.
21% of guys would pass up the chance to climax for real in order to fake an O at the “right” time.
46% think the best way to fake an orgasm is to use a condom and trash it before his partner gets a look.
23% say the best way is to keep the lights out! (where is the fun in that???)
61% of men who haven’t faked an orgasm say they would do so.

Read the Full Article:

So I will continue to be honest about my O and you can do what ever the hell you want, but hopefully this has helped.

Waxing Poetic

Over the years I have made it a point feel good about my body having adopted the philosophy that I make my own happiness. For years I lived in a community that made me rethink the practicality of shaving my legs and armpits. It was intimidating at first. I had been shaving since I was a teenager and had a deeply ingrained psychology that clean smooth legs are the standard expectation of the general public. I had to reprogram my need to please others with my choice of having hair free legs and stop caring about the needs of other in favor of my own personal comfort. I was done shaving and that was that. To this day I have not shaved my legs once in 14 years.

In that time, my community has changed but my own comfort level has not me compromised but altered. A close friend from the area asked me some key questions about my choices not to shave out of authentic curiosity (I respect that having a health dose of my own.) I shared my distain for the ritual of shaving several times a week for optimal hairless plus my own accounts of sitting in the laps of women as a child and feeling that horribly uncomfortable stubble beneath my own smooth and sensitive thighs. Who wasn’t to experience that? So she went on to introduce me to the art of waxing. I was not a fan of pain but am a firm believer in weighing my options with pros and cons. I still liked the concept of smooth legs but was not willing to compromise with a razor or depilatory products. She gave me the number of her waxer and I called and here I am 8 years later getting my first brazilian wax.

That’s right. I just got my first (US) Brazilian wax (everything clean off.) Now I had shaved clean down there, once years and years ago, and for a full week the discomfort was worth NEVER repeating. Sure it looked great and I was smooth for all of 12 hours but the pain, itching and reddened irritated skin drove me to manhandle my privates in very public venues just for the sake of relief and my embarrassment was enough to last a lifetime. It has been just about 24 hours since my wax session, as of this moment, and the area is pain and irritation free. If you have a low threshold for pain a OTC pain med like Tylenol or Advil taken 30 minutes before the appointment will make any swelling and pain very manageable.

I made the choice to go for the drastic change for the sake that I had for years thought of making the move but chickening out at the last moment opting for a bikini wax instead. It took time to feel comfortable enough to go that deep but it was all for me. My partner had no say in the decision and I am all the happier for my choice. So would I do it again?…YES! Will I keep it up? (no less than every 6 weeks to keep the skin of this sensitive area safe) I intend to try. So I have provided further evidence in the article below that this is indeed a worthy pursuit.


Brazilian wax, playboy bikini wax, a panty-line wax, full monty wax or the Sphinx? Which waxing method do you prefer? If you are confused, don’t worry. Allow us to tell you that if you’re looking for your bikini bottom to look hair free and super sexy, Brazilian waxing is the most popular option around. Check out a few benefits of Brazilian waxing and decide for yourself.

1. Be worry free with your low cut denims and skimpy bikinis
Forget your worries about bending over in your hot pants or raising your hands up in the air in your low rise denims. The benefit of Brazilian waxing is that it will give you a clean bikini line with which you can wear the skimpiest triangular bikini or lingerie without worrying about a single strand of hair showing. Due to this benefit of Brazilian waxing, it is also popularly called “Hollywood waxing”. (Well I am not personally a fan of low rise jeans for my specific shape but I can certianly see the attraction.)

2. Have advanced pleasure in sexual intimacy with the benefits of Brazilian waxing
We think this can be a very personal choice for your partner. Some men like their women to be completely clean from the pubic area, but for some men, this can be a complete turn off. But we sure have heard about the various benefits of Brazilian waxing to increase pleasure during foreplay or sex. The smooth sensation on bare skin can give some women goosebumps! (Yeah…It is a good thing)

3. Brazilian waxing lasts longer than shaving
Well, it’s pretty obvious that waxing lasts longer than shaving. But trust us ladies, this benefit of Brazilian waxing is so good that you’ll get addicted to it. Imagine not spending hours in the shower cleaning up your bikini bottom area every third day? And the other really amazing benefit of Brazilian waxing is that even the pores of your skin won’t start opening and showing up, as they do with shaving. (HELLO!!!!)

4. Brazilian waxing reduces in-growth
We women have always complained of shaving giving us in-growth, right? Then imagine what shaving could do to your pubic area? Amongst many benefits of Brazilian waxing, what we love is that Brazilian waxing doesn’t give in-growth. Small in-grown hair in the bikini area can bring extreme rashes, redness and flaky as well as itchy, skin. Say goodbye to all these irritants with the benefits of Brazilian waxing. (Can we get an AMEN?)

5. Brazilian waxing feels more hygienic
Once you get Brazilian waxing done, you will definitely feel that it is more hygienic than other waxing methods for the pubic area. Brazilian waxing helps in reducing dead skin over the pubis and bacteria occurring from vaginal discharge. One of the biggest benefits of Brazilian waxing over shaving is that there are lesser chances of razor cuts causing your skin to bleed. After a Brazilian waxing session, you will feel so clean and light as a feather! (exhaled sigh of relief….ahhhhhhhh)

Read the Full Article:

There once was a girl from the county
who waxed all the hair off her bounty
every time she’s alone
she just lets her hands roam
all over her smooth little mound-y


Feeling and Looking Sexy

I have never felt better about my self and more confident about my body than when I was sexually charged. So when I found the article below I was like YES!! Look for my comments within


We spend countless hours and dollars to doll ourselves up, but Mother Nature has given us women an au natural way to turn heads: S-E-X.

Sure, there’s a time and a place for perfectly applied eyeliner and not-a-strand-out-of-place hair. But really, what’s hotter than devil-may-care, mussed up bedhead and a swagger that just won’t quit? It’s time to channel your inner Brigitte Bardot, ladies!

Sex is the ultimate beauty enhancer. No product or procedure can beat getting down and dirty in making you even more gorgeous. Check out these eight reasons why.

1. Natural Makeup
Every morning, you apply makeup and by lunch, you already need a touch up! But if you spend 15 minutes a day doing the deed, your cheeks will naturally flush, your lips will have that perfect red pout and your skin will glow. Move over Sephora—sex is nature’s makeup! As YouDoc Dr. Michael Roizen, the Chief Wellness Officer at the Cleveland Clinic Roizen explains, during sex, “You get excited, and you vasodilate. [Just like] vasodilation happens in the male penis, which is swelling it with blood…well, the same thing is occurring in all your mucosal membranes [to give] you that ruddy look, that redness or that glow. It’s all the same phenomenon.” And, might we add, the sex effect lasts for hours. (Well I personally go as natural as possible. Make up makes my feel like my face is dirty. About the only thing I do apply is the occasional lip stain or balm. I love how I look after sex but typically I am about to go to sleep after since it has been a nocturnal event …since I had kids. However a morning quickie might be called for in those cases where I need to look extra special.)

2. Save Face
Even if you stay out of the sun, you still may be at risk for premature pruning. “Other than sun exposure, the major wrinkler of the skin is your arteries,” explain Roizen. “Whether you have a wrinkle in your heart, which is a heart attack, or a wrinkle in your skin, it’s the same process.” Good blood flow brings nutrients and oxygen to the skin, which staves off wrinkling. Guess what increases blood flow and makes your skin act younger? You guessed it—sex. (I spent much of my youth out in the sun, in the pool, camps, and outdoor fun. So I basically have a permanent tan on my arms and some natural color on my face but much of that could also be my Gallic heritage. I will have to start “exercising” my heart more frequently and make sure that blood oxygen are flowing to every cell more efficiently.)

3. Sex Does a Body Good
We all know that the sexiest thing a woman can have is confidence. According to sexpert Mary Jo Rapini, M.Ed, L.P.C., knocking boots gives every woman a swagger. “When I ask men: ‘What is the most attractive thing about your woman?’ one of the top three things is always the way she moves.” After getting frisky, you walk with an even more feminine gait. Your head is held high, your hips swaying from side to side—in other words, you’re getting your strut on. That confidence just reels the men right back in, creating a perfect cycle of sex appeal. (I have to say, I love going to the grocery store. I make sure to dress really well when I go and feel really good about how I move and sway. I have no trouble smiling at strangers covertly and in turn bringing a smile to their day too. So as for reeling them in I think the confidence I receive from friends on and offline make all the difference.)

4. Doing “It” is the Best Hair Do
Sex can also contribute to a healthy head of hair. Roizen points out: “Each hair follicle has a blood vessel to it, and your blood flow is a major determinate of both internal and external beauty.” More blood flow means you’re nourishing your hair. Plus, you know sliding around in your sheets gives your tresses that va-va-va voluminous sexy bedhead. (Now I never really thought about this but my long curly thick locks don’t lie.)

5. Don’t Worry, Be Happy
There’s a reason wrinkles are called worry lines—but no amount of eye cream can put your mind at ease like the horizontal hula. “Sex is the best stress reliever,” says Rapini. Since orgasming is all about learning to relax and breathe, when you’re having sex regularly, the calming effects cumulate and you’ll enjoy long-term stress relief. Rapini points out: “The normal sex act itself takes between three and 20 minutes. That’s not very long, but it influences your whole day, it can even influence you for several days.” And that lack of tension will be all over your beautiful face! (Not much more than a few laugh lines mar this face but hey they just show my character. Besides who doesn’t want a hot lillte secret sex smile gracing their face all day.)

6. Busting Out
During sex, you’ll have even more to show off. According to Dr. Roizen, during sex, “breasts enlarge 25 percent; nipple height increases a half inch.” You’ll be wowing your man sans Wonder Bra. (OK…no help needed in that department, but the extra sensitivity helps.)

7. Sexercise
While it might be hard to motivate yourself to get to the gym, if you’re ready to spend some time on your back—or on all fours, or in a pretzel shape—sex can give you a great cardio workout. According to Roizen, “From an arterial standpoint, having sex is the equivalent of engaging in Zumba.” The more you do it, the more it does for your bod! (Hmmm)

8. Fountain of Youth
If a woman has an average sex life, her real age can be two to eight years younger than the number on her driver’s license, notes Roizen. “You end up being functionally younger … it’s a consistent effect,” he says. It lowers your risk of the three major killers: heart disease, cancer and all others—which is really depression, suicide, mood changes and things that cause attitudinal changes.” If you keep getting frisky with your partner, you can both turn back the hands of time. (NO WONDER! I don’t mean to brag but I have been told that I look no where near 40!)

So, gorgeous, the next time someone asks you what your beauty secret is, you can tell her it’s your sex life. And how!

Read the Full Article:

So get busy…I know I will.

Role Call

“We need role models who are going to break the mold” – Carly Simon


So what do Scarlett Johansson, Rosario Daweson and Zooey Deschanel have in common?
Each of these women is my ideal in body positivity. They are each sexy, goofy, cast in amazing roles, sing uniquely and have a natural beauty and confidence that I make an effort to emulate.

Scarlett has not only been a successful actress from a young age (I always wanted to act) but has worked with amazing directors such as Woody Allen and Sofia Coppola. As the Global Ambassador for the aid and development agency, Oxfam, her Activism work makes her a strong role model for a life well rounded. In addition to being a spotlight sex symbol she is intrinsically a private person and I couldn’t respect her more for it. Ms. Johansson rarely discusses her personal life with the press, saying, “It’s nice to have everybody not know your business.” I agree. I don’t want EVERYONE in my life to know the ups and downs of every aspect of my day to day. There is something to be said for respecting a persons privacy. Everyone deserves respect and she commands it by not cheapening her image with drama fodder for the press.

image14 Rosario makes me smile in every role she has chosen to play. Again an actress who has had the honor of working with amazing directors like Quinton Tarrentino, Robert Rodriguez, Spike Lee and Kevin Smith (yeah I said it, because his shit cracks me up.) Ms. Dawson just plain rocks and I love her natural no makeup look (yeah I am probably fooling myself just let me pretend.) She is also a huge Activist for everything I find admirable from her involvement in Lower East Side Girls Club to her charitable support of Oxfam, Amnesty International and Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays.

image15 Zooey just has that sense about her that feels awkward and real. I love her voice, her style and her acting. She has the capacity to make you as comfortable as she can make someone uncomfortable with just the expression on her face. Of course she was in The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy and (500) Days of summer but the roles that will always stand out for me were Gigantic and Flakes, two off beat films that made me smile and feel like she could really be a person in my life based on the characters she was cast in. Her sense of self is “flaws and all” perfect! And her musical career, although not as well known, makes her all the more well rounded as a person to look up to.

Now as for my own aspirations, I would love to act. I have taken classes and participated in small stage parts. I am not currently in a position to audition for anything locally, but it is on my to do list. I love to sing and have been involved in choral productions as well as solo performances. Sadly due to years of smoking, my voice has faded from it’s former glory. Of course, that never stops me from belting out a good song accompanying my iPod in the car (I rock out!) I have been tossing around the idea of doing bit of stand up comedy. I write routines down as they come to me but hesitate to do an open mic night until I feel the act is tight. That never stops me at a social gathering though where I typically make everyone smile and laugh with hilarious stories and antics. My writing is my biggest pursuit currently ranging from the Erotica you are reading here every Friday to Sci-Fi Fantasy Romance, Short Story (life diary) Comedy and Children’s books.

I hope you have enjoyed reading this and make yourself as happy as writing this blog makes me.

Time to Reboot

78% Would Rather Date a Confident Plus-Size Woman Than an Insecure Supermodel

As much confidence as I have recently found, it is still hard for me to talk about my body. I want to NOT care what others think. In fact, I have learned the hard lesson to distance myself from people I initially meet in order to simply to not care what they think. In my opinion to judge someone based on whether you are sexually attracted to them is disgustingly shallow. Now on that note, I DO in fact care what you think of me I just won’t tell you or indicate that I am hurt should you choose to share your socially inappropriate thoughts. There are some days I have to reboot my brain to see the sexy woman I truly am and because of this blog I have been feeling pretty awesome. So I went in search of other people who have the same motives.

The excerpts from following article are not necessarily about body positivity but have a message that I wanted to hear and share just the same.


DON’T TELL ME TO LOVE MY BODY by Elyse March 11, 2013

I want to talk to you about how you talk to me about how I talk about my body, and how I talk about how I feel about my body, and what’s wrong with everything you have to say about what I have to say.

In short, fuck you.

The problem is someone else telling me how to feel. The problem is being told that there is a standard of beauty, and I should ignore it. I should ignore it despite the fact that everyone is still holding me to it. I should ignore it and create my own. As long as it makes me feel pseudo-good, and makes other people feel okay with how I pretend to feel about me. But while we’re pretending the real-world standards don’t exist, the real world continues judging us—It’s okay to be more critical of a woman who’s accepted herself. She’s strong and can take it… In fact, wow, what a conceited bitch she must be to think she’s so great when she’s clearly not. Maybe someone needs to take her down. She really has no business acting like she’s as good as other people. (WTF?)

But here’s the thing… It’s okay to not love my body. It’s okay to not even like my body. They’re my feelings and it’s my body and I will use those feelings to feel however I want to about my body. I don’t need you to tell me how to feel.

We don’t have to find ourselves beautiful. Beauty is not the one thing that makes us and our bodies worth loving. We don’t have to distort an already fucked-up definition of beauty, and pretend we fit into it, just to feel like we are people worthy of being loved.

Stop telling women that we should find ourselves beautiful and that we should love ourselves when you are standing right there, judging us on how our knees look in short skirts and how prominent our boobs are in a sweater and how much makeup we are or are not wearing.

Instead of us working harder on “love your body” and “find your inner beauty”, the rest of the world should be working harder on “stop telling women their bodies are a shameful place to live but that if they’re strong enough, they will learn to embrace that shame.”

Read the Full Article:


Now another issue I have is being labeled “fat.” As if that defines ANYTHING about me. The word gives me the heebie jeebies because it means something different to each and every person. And titles like “7 Ways to be an Ally to you Fat Lover” and “How to Have Sex While Fat: A Short Guide to Sexy Fun for Fatties and People Who F#&@ Them” just turn me OFF! Yes I read them but I don’t need this advice personally, but there are people who do and it is nice that it is out there for them. I would hope that if I decided to have sex with someone that my body is NOT the ONLY reason they want to fuck me (Yeah this is what needed to be said in one of the articles…seriously?) So I won’t even waste your time repeating all the innately simplistic concepts of why I should have standards and confidence in order to have sex with whom ever I want IF we both want to and detailed instructions on how to go about that. DUH!

I am adorable, I am hilarious, I am awesome and hot sex is just a piece in the complicated puzzle that is me. SO THERE.

Reboot complete.

Validation Comes in Many Forms

The New York Times January 2, 2012 by Paul Campos

ACCORDING to the United States government, nearly 7 out of 10 American adults weigh too much. (In 2010, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention categorized 74 percent of men and 65 percent of women as either overweight or obese.)

But a new meta-analysis of the relationship between weight and mortality risk, involving nearly three million subjects from more than a dozen countries, illustrates just how exaggerated and unscientific that claim is.

The meta-analysis, published this week in The Journal of the American Medical Association, reviewed data from nearly a hundred large epidemiological studies to determine the correlation between body mass and mortality risk. The results ought to stun anyone who assumes the definition of “normal” or “healthy” weight used by our public health authorities is actually supported by the medical literature.
The study, by Katherine M. Flegal and her associates at the C.D.C. and the National Institutes of Health, found that all adults categorized as overweight and most of those categorized as obese have a lower mortality risk than so-called normal-weight individuals. If the government were to redefine normal weight as one that doesn’t increase the risk of death, then about 130 million of the 165 million American adults currently categorized as overweight and obese would be re-categorized as normal weight instead.
image5To put some flesh on these statistical bones, the study found a 6 percent decrease in mortality risk among people classified as overweight and a 5 percent decrease in people classified as Grade 1 obese, the lowest level (most of the obese fall in this category). This means that average-height women — 5 feet 4 inches — who weigh between 108 and 145 pounds have a higher mortality risk than average-height women who weigh between 146 and 203 pounds. For average-height men — 5 feet 10 inches — those who weigh between 129 and 174 pounds have a higher mortality risk than those who weigh between 175 and 243 pounds.

Read the Full Article:

I personally had to STOP reading RIGHT HERE! First of all the rest was boring as shit but I looked at that number 5’4″ (average height yup that’s me) and between 146 and 203 pounds well I just had to stop and gape, no cry YES! It is about fucking time those numbers equaled normal. I don’t feel bad about myself …but I used to.

Getting Behind Body Positivity

“If only women knew that being happy with themselves is the most attractive quality they can ever offer”


Unfortunately, women are up to 10 times more likely to have a negative body image than men. This is unsurprising when you consider how much emphasis is placed on the ‘thin is beautiful, and beautiful is good’ message in today’s media. In a study in which people were asked to rate how ‘nice’ a person was according to photographs, more negative adjectives (such as ‘lazy’ and ‘greedy’) were attributed to the less attractive and fatter subjects. Looks are everything in today’s society, and since few of us live up to (or, at least, believe that we live up to) society’s ideal, we are facing a national epidemic of bad body image.

Knock-on Effects
Feeling negative about your body is bad news, but the problem tends not to end there. Body dissatisfaction can have just as serious an impact on women’s physical and emotional health as excess weight, say psychologists from the National Institute of Public Health in Quebec, Canada. There is undoubtedly a link between negative body image and eating disorders, but body image disturbance is also associated with a loss of sexual desire, depression, anxiety, and social introversion, as well as feelings of low self-esteem, failure and irritability. That’s a high price to pay for being at war with your body! But how can we get out of this vicious cycle? Certainly not by dieting, sweating and pummeling your body into the shape you think it should be…

The body beautiful
We’ve probably all spied a woman walking down the street, turning every man’s head as she passes. We may not think that she is particularly attractive, but if she feels good about herself, she will ooze body confidence and sex appeal. How we see ourselves is not a reality but an illusion. Body image exists only in our mind’s eye, and it changes from moment to moment. That’s why you can feel ‘fatter’ ten minutes after eating a slice of cake, when in actual fact you couldn’t possibly look any different. Accepting this is an important first step in becoming more body confident. You could then try the following exercises, which will also help you on your way to boosting your body image.

Be positive!
Become more familiar with your body – for example by looking at your body in the mirror after you’ve had a shower – and focus on aspects of yourself that you like. Acknowledging something you like about your body will shift the emphasis away from the bits you may not like. Also, reflect not only on the parts of your body that you like, but on why you like those bits as well. This will help to challenge your thought processes on what makes someone beautiful or acceptable.

Describe yourselfImagine seeing yourself through the eyes of one of your friends. How would you describe your body if you were to look at it as an outsider? Think about this and write down a description, being as honest and accurate as you can. You’ll probably be a lot kinder if you’re looking at yourself through someone else’s eyes – so use these more realistic judgements when you’re casting a critical eye over yourself.

Be alert to your ‘bad body’ triggers
What makes you feel bad about your body? Try to identify your triggers so that you can rationalize why you feel bad when such situations arise. If, for example, seeing your ex-partner’s new girlfriend always makes you feel bad, acknowledge that and tell yourself you are the same person – and that you’re the same size as you were five minutes before you spotted the other girl! Many simple triggers, such as using a communal changing room at the gym or in a store, can also be easily avoided if you continue to feel bad in those situations.

Get active!
Research shows that people who regularly exercise generally have better body images than those who don’t. Experts think this is partly down to being more ‘in touch’ with their bodies through being active – but exercise also ensures that you experience your body from the ‘inside’ rather than the ‘outside’, and helps you to appreciate its myriad abilities. If you exercise more then you’re also likely to become less judgmental of others’ body shapes and sizes. However, you should beware of seeing physical activity as simply another way of manipulating your body into how it ‘should’ be.

Look after yourself
Spend some time looking after your body and making yourself look good. You may not be able to slink into a pair of size eight jeans, but that doesn’t mean you can’t have fabulous hair or killer nails! Whether it’s self-administered care, such as rubbing in a luxurious body lotion or keeping your legs stubble-free, or external maintenance, such as a soothing massage or a wash and blow dry at the salon, taking care of your body will tell your subconscious mind that you care about your body and respect it.

Open your eyes
When you feel negative about your body, you tend to only spot those around you who you perceive as being ‘better’ than you. So, open your eyes and really see everyone – and then you’ll realize just how many shapes and sizes there are!

A final point…
When following our suggested tips, remember that boosting your body confidence doesn’t mean that you can’t want to lose weight or tone up or improve your fitness – it simply means that when you do so, you’ll see your body as an ally rather than as the enemy.

Read the Full Article:

Good advice all around.

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