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Slipping in the Backdoor

image11Yes, I am posting late today. So it is only fair that I not only insinuate that I am using the title of today’s post in more ways than one. I have been investigating Anal Play. Based on feedback from friends and a very minimal personal experience with the topic it deserves attention. Many men have a proclivity for Anal Play and BSDM partners are in to (as I am discovering) pushing limits and testing boundaries so it is only normal to make it a topic worth investigating.

My current fascination is with the prep work. The “training” with the use of Anal Plugs and Beads has been a topic of discussion and I find myself curious. So away we go.


Just because you haven’t done it yet doesn’t mean it’s not fun! That’s what a lot of lovers are discovering about the joys of anal sex toys, either as part of foreplay or during sex. But if neither you nor your partner have tried anal toys, you may be a little confused about exactly what those funny-shaped things are and how to use them. Anal sex toys fall into three main categories: anal beads, anal plugs, and prostate massagers or vibrators.

But first, a little about sex lube (lube should always come first in anal play!). A good anal sex lube is an important part of the fun: because the “back door” has no natural lubricant and the area is very delicate, it needs a thicker lube than usual. Pick a high-quality sex lube designed specifically for anal use. Or try a slight numbing lube, especially good for first-timers. You might have to continue adding lubricant during anal play, no matter which kind you use.

The biggest rule in anal play is to take it slow and easy: nothing in anal play should ever hurt or be uncomfortable. Communication with your partner is an important part of the experience: tell him or her what feels good and what doesn’t.

Warming up: The second most important rule in anal play is to relax the anal area. This is where the fun foreplay really begins, with a nice relaxing massage of the entire ass. Start with one of Adam and Eve’s erotic massage oils. Massage the buttocks in a slow and sexy motion with your hands, letting your partner get really relaxed (but don’t let him or her fall asleep!). Then, lube up your little finger and (informing your partner first — no surprises in anal warm-ups) sloooooowly insert it in the anus, just a little way. Massage the anus opening slowly with the finger, until you feel your partner relax, and keep inserting the finger and massaging. If your partner feels uncomfortable at any point, stop and back up. This will also tell you how far you can insert an anal toy to start. And when you’re using your finger, be sure to trim and file the nail. If you have long nails, try a cotton ball around the nail and use a latex glove.

Anal Beads: These are the easiest and most comfortable to use for beginners, especially the “graduated-size” beads that start small and get gradually bigger. Graduated beads often come in “sticks” of soft flexible material like silicone or jelly connecting the beads. A good example of these beads are jelly anal beads with 10 beads that start at only a quarter-inch diameter. Of course there are beads on actual strings, and even vibrating anal beads that light up and flash in different colors — you have to see these work to believe them!). And if you’re worried that these toys might get lost “up there,” relax: anal beads come with handles. To see Adam and Eve’s great selection of anal beads and toys, go here.

How to use them: Remember to lube up generously! Insert the beads slowly, giving your partner a chance to get used to the feel. When your partner says the beads feel good, stop inserting and leave the beads in during sex. When your partner starts to climax, pull the beads out one at a time, straight down, during orgasm. Be prepared for screams of pleasure.

Anal Plugs: Anal or butt plugs are designed to stay in place during sex. They’re tapered cones to glide in easily, but quickly widen for more sensations. Our advice to beginners is to start small with one of the plugs pictured here. Butt plugs can vibrate or not, and many of them come with a suction-cup base for solo play. Then there are plugs that are more like a combination of anal beads and butt plugs For a mind-bending sensation, you can also get anal plugs that vibrate. For a few of our multiple-speed plugs, see our selection here.

How to use them: You can leave the plug in place all during sex, or during masturbation. Start slowly, breathe deeply and relax your sphincter muscles as the plug goes in. Eventually, your muscles will relax just below the widest part of the plug, holding it in place. Don’t panic if it comes out: using an anal plug takes practice as your muscles get used to the sex toy.

Read the Full Article:


Butt plugs are a great way to explore anal sensations and anal play. Many people will also start playing with butt plugs as a way to gear up to having anal intercourse with a partner. If you’re just starting to explore this kind of play we recommend reading our article on enjoying anal play which covers the basics. Once you’re ready to start playing with your butt plug here are some tips on where to start.

start solo
Even if you’re planning on using a butt plug with a partner, we recommend starting out on your own. This gives you the chance to explore and experiment with your new butt plug without any distractions (pleasant though they may be). Using a butt plug on your own is also important as it’s the only way you’ll be able to tell a partner how you want them to use it on you.

cleanliness before…
When you get your butt plug home be sure to wash it well before first use. Look it over carefully and check for tears, seams, or rough edges. Make sure you’ve read and understood the care instructions for the material your butt plug is made of.

keep yourself clean while getting dirty
Bacteria that live happily in the anus can cause major problems elsewhere, like the vagina, the mouth, the eyes. When you’re playing with anal penetration you need to be careful not to touch other parts of your body (or things like your bottle of lube) with fingers or toys that have been inside your bum. We recommend using condoms on butt plugs and using gloves for your hands. This makes clean up much easier and faster, which lets you move on to other things.

don’t forget the lube
You should use a good quality lubricant with all toys for penetration but this is especially true for butt plugs and other toys for anal penetration. The anus and rectum can tear and adding lubricant makes anal penetration both safer and more comfortable. When using the lube, squeeze some into your gloved hand and rub it along the shaft and tip of the butt plug. You will likely have to add more lube during sex play.

butt plug as main event
Start slowly using your butt plug for penetration. Remember not to force it in, but instead press it against your body and relax, breathe, and bare down a bit until you can feel your sphincter muscles relax and the butt plug slips in. Once you’re inside, you can play with gently pushing the butt plug in and then letting it slip out. As you get more turned on and more relaxed you’ll be able take more of the butt plug in, until you get to the point where it’s in all the way and your sphincter muscles are around the neck of the plug.

learning to control your muscles
The first few times you use a butt plug it will likely slide out (or even come shooting out) when you let go of the base of the plug. As you get more comfortable anal penetration you can learn to control your muscles and keep the butt plug in. This won’t always work (for example laughing and sneezing will both cause the plug to slip out whether you like it or not). Once you’re comfortable taking the butt plug all the way in, you can start to play with control by allowing it to slip out a little, and then try to draw it back in. With time, practice, and increased comfort you can gain more control.

butt plug as side show
Once you can insert your plug all the way with comfort, and you have some control over it staying in, you can explore other sex acts while having a butt plug in place. Try masturbating to orgasm, or having sex with your partner. See what it feels like to massage your perineum, or stimulate other parts of your body while you’ve got your butt plug in place. Many people report that having an orgasm with a butt plug really increases the intensity of the orgasm and their body awareness during orgasm.

partner meet butt plug
The main drawback to using a butt plug as opposed to your own body is that you don’t get the same immediate feedback loop. This means using butt plugs requires lots of communication if you’re using it on a partner or letting a partner use one on you. If you’re looking for a toy you can use for anal penetration with a partner, we recommend anal safe dildos instead of butt plugs. A much better way to use butt plugs with a partner is for one or both of you to have one in while having other kinds of partner sex. You can make putting the plug in part of sex, but once a plug is in, they’re mostly meant to stay there, at least for a few minutes.

double penetration
A few people like to use butt plugs for double penetration. Double penetration is an activity that requires a lot of patience, lubricant, and protection if you’re going to do it safely. For women it’s important to remember not to transfer any fluids or material from the anus to the vagina. If you’re interested in exploring double penetration we recommend reading about it first, and starting with small butt plugs.

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So off I go…ending the day just under the wire. More intrigued and willing to open the door.

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One thought on “Slipping in the Backdoor

  1. Pingback: Getting Kinky, Sugar Style | Sugarmytips

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