Doubleife – Because one life is never enough

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Archive for the month “May, 2013”

Fantasy Friday: Hot Springs

Dear Fantasy Forum,

I had been helping my friend set up for her big annual Autumn office party. She had been planning it for months so as her best friend and an amazing cook she of course decided to let me fix all of the food for the gathering instead of hiring a caterer. I slaved for weeks preparing all of the hors d’oeuvres and the main course was in the oven on a slow cook for the tenderest meat on the planet. My pot roast melted not only in you mouth but in you heart. One bite was capable of breaking your sanity and these strangers were about to loose their minds. The vat of garlic roasted root vegetables was already on the sterno keeping warm as well the almond green beans and a vegan lasagna for the lighter hearted eaters. The salad bar was on ice and the individual decadent raspberry-peach pie desserts were laid out to go in the oven the moment the roast came out.

My job was done and the hired staff knew all they had to do was the setup and break down. I sighed deeply and leaned against the wall of the kitchen swearing never to get talked into catering another big dinner party for “friends.” Leaning against the tiled wall with my eyes closed and people buzzing about I unexpectedly heard the oven open and the lid to my roast removed. I tried to tell myself it was probably just one of the staff checking the temp but when I opened my eyes a man in a suit with a fork already in my roast yanked a hunk from the side and put the entire morsel in his mouth. “HEY!” I yelled as I stood from my position only to have him straighten to full height and loom down over me. “That is for the party!” I exclaimed and quickly replaced the lid and closed my oven to find him blatantly checking out my ass as I turned to scowl up at him. He took his time savoring my tender roast with a slow smile creeping across his face.

“I don’t appreciate people in my kitchen” I challenged. “This isn’t your kitchen” he calmly stated. “It is when I’m cooking in it” I proclaimed. “So you are who I should be thanking for that piece of heaven?” “Maybe” I said warily eyeing him more carefully. With that he leaned in and said “Because whoever DID make that is about to be kissed.” My eyes widened as I gasped and backed up. He approached slowly and I turned and ran out the door into the backyard filled with guests.

I tried to slow my heart as I stumbled through the tightly packed groups of chatting and laughing guests. “I mean who would seriously say that?” I asked myself. I slowed to a walk, so as to not draw any more attention to myself, carefully weaving my way to the exact point I knew I could escape. I pulled off my apron, yanked my hair out of its bun and popped my garment into the hands of a staff member to return to the kitchen. I also told him to guard the roast and get a message to the host I was heading out. I ducked into the brush, without a backward glance. Taos, NM was a stunning area and known for its’ hot springs dotted all over the mountains. I already knew of one completely hidden, just a short walk away, and at this moment I needed sanctuary.

The ten minute walk was as balming as the thought of sinking into the hot steaming water. I took in the fresh scents of the sage and rosemary growing wild along my path. I inhaled and drank deeply from the bottled water I had snagged on my way past the refreshment table. As the path evened out I yanked off my sandals and padded along the sandy earth closing in on my watery retreat. I could hear the bubbling watter just up ahead and ducked in behind the boulder hiding my private pool from the trail. The view opened up to the west giving a front row seat to the finest sunset on the mountian. I pulled off my dress, slipped out of my bra and panties and sank into the muscle loosening natural volcanic heated spring pool. I couldn’t help moaning in appreciation a each body part unwound and expressed its’ gratitude. I finally closed my eyes leaned back on the boulder and sighed as my breasts floated and bobbed in the flowing water. I love that feeling of free floating and after the last few weeks I needed this more than ever. The cool air of evening mixed with the sultry heat of the water mingled to make my nipples painfully taut.

I heard a rustling a few feet away but knowing my sanctuary was hidden I didn’t bother to peek. Very few predators lived this close to the developed areas of the mountains and none of the local hikers were aware of my special spot. The footsteps got closer and I tried to ignore the idea that I was followed but couldn’t help wondering. It was at that point the man from the kitchen stepped around my boulder and stared down at me. I was absolutely speechless. His hands rose to remove his tie and unbutton his neatly pressed shirt. “How…?” I said cradling my breasts from his view. “Footprints” he smiled back. “Damn it” I closed my eyes and cursed at myself over and over. How could I be so stupid.

So here I was naked in a pool the size of a small jacuzzi with a stranger peeling out of his clothes with a purpose. “What are you doing?” “Getting in the water” he said matter of factly. With that he pulled down his boxer briefs and sunk into the water without a modicum of modesty for his clearly aroused state. In fact I think he actually drew out his descent into the water to give me a better view of his proud member. My breathing sped up as our proximity inevitably became intimate. “So, did you cook that magnificent roast?” he asked with renewed interest. “Yes” I whispered as my chest heaved with renewed vigor. He leaned in and put his hand to my cheek brushing my bottom lip with his thumb and parted my lips ever so slightly. With my hands still occupied covering my breasts he swung over quickly and began kissing me deeply and thoroughly. OH MY he could kiss.

My self consciousness was swept away with his tongue as I twined my hands up and over his back and chest to bring him closer. The water squeezed between us as my breasts crushed against his chest. My moan was unexpected. It was as if my body wasn’t my own. Gone was the woman of decorum and in swept the woman of inpropriety. I climbed into his lap and rubbed myself libidinously over his projecting tool. It was his turn to moan audibly as he tried to control my gyrating hips. The suns descent was at its apex as he swiftly entered my waiting pussy. My back arched as I exhaled and cried out “OH!”

I fell back into the water, submerging the back of my head floating free allowing him to set the pace for the “petite mort” already building. He took the opportunity to bend down and take my nipple into his mouth and sucked hard. My core muscles clamped down hard on his cock encouraging him only to suck harder and move over to my other breast to perform the same test agian. He lifted me up, to my surprise, and backed me up to the boulder behind us and said “NEVER run from me” before he pulled me completely from the water with my back against the sun warmed rock and began pounding into me. He held me aloft by my ass and thigh. My head began to spin and I actually thought I would pass out from the over stimulation. I opened my eyes to see the red light of the dying sun as my body exploded with sensation. He swallow my scream with his mouth over mine swirling his tongue with mine as I struggled to breathe.

His pace was relentless. As my orgasm eased a second began to build from the new friction of his cock on my clit. The water had eased my muscles but the tension built again as I wrapped my legs around his waist locking him into me deeper. His even powerful strokes became erratic as I felt him thicken more. I knew his own end was upon us and found my second peak and dove off launching my ass off the rock held up only by his arms and my shoulder blades. My pulsing milked him dry of every drop as he sank us both back into the steaming depths. My eyes closed as I sagged onto his chest catching my breath. He was still deep inside me as I rested in his lap and let the water pull my muscles back apart.

His hands massaged my thighs and ass where he had held me. My decorous nature returned like an uncomfortable cloak and I tried to hide despite our position. He felt me close and shrink away with a deep blush consuming my face and spreading. His large hands came up to my arms and pulled me back exposing my body again as well as stirring our bodies feeling him inside me as a reminder. “Hey! DON’T” I looked up to his eyes at the tone his voice held. “You will NOT be ashamed of what just happened.” and punctuated his statement moving his hands to my hips stiring his already recovering rod inside me. I gasped and slowly shed the cloak of shame as my body readjusted to his command. “You are amazing. I have been looking for you everywhere.” Confusion spread across my face at his words. “I have been friends with the host for years and she never stops talking about you. When she said you would be here this evening I couldn’t resist.” As he continued his internal stirring he went on to say “We actually met last year. You were completely consumed and barely spared me a glance but I couldn’t wait to catch you again.” I blushed again horrified that I was so rude to such an stunning man. With my lids growing heavy at his ministration I began to apologize “Forgive me…” only be silenced by his mouth on mine and swept away once again as darkness fell and our ardor rose with renewed life.

Self Presents

Nope I didn’t spell that wrong. This is my birthday weekend and I bought myself a present this year! I have been touting body positivity and really appreciating more and more about my sexy curves. So what better way to celebrate my skin than to show more of it. So this year, with the encouragement of girlfriends and inspiration of online bloggers with hot curves, I bought myself my first bikini EVER!

20130530-111927.jpgOne of my favorite bloggers The Militant Baker posted How To Get A Swimsuit Body In Less Than 5 Minutes!

1. retrieve preferred swimsuit
2. put on said swimsuit
3. look in mirror
4. exclaim “HOT DAMN I am one sexy bitch!”

Optional: strut like you just don’t care.

Well Here it IS!!! Making it happen. The more I wear it the more comfortable I feel in it. Fortunately the people in my life are not only supportive but encouraging. I have been consumed by a self image hating mentality for long enough. It is time to change gears and wear a whole new set of glasses that finally view my form as beautiful. I don’t have to like ever little piece but loving the package is a big deal. What is funny is I never thought that I wasn’t sexy. I just always got nervous when the time came to get naked. The more I revealed the more I needed validation or reassurance from my partner that they were happy with how I was made/ what I had to offer and NOT ONE has ever made me feel anything but sexy!

Other inspiring articles that helped me see the light include:

6 Bikini Body Truths to Remember for This Summer

BodyPosiBikiniBabes tumblr

Fantasy Friday: The Client

Dear Fantasy Forum,

Work had been sparse for weeks. I had been rethinking my entrepreneurial efforts for the last month and couldn’t get over how awful the economy had locked down every one of my clients. “Our hands are tied.” was becoming a standard response to the budget cuts made for the work I was being hired to offer. I had already cut my costs significantly and was trying to re-adjust but, one by one, my clients were steering away from my customized services opting for more inexpensive mass produced options. Oh well, out with the old and… when a door shuts…yada, yada, yada. I was sick of hearing the old adages. I was taking the downtime opportunity to get my online resume updated, refresh my LinkedIn profile, check my Search Engine ranking and hand out Business Cards at every opportunity. Sadly all I was receiving were headhunter calls looking to hire onsite positions to make their finders fee. With every call I started chanting “Where is my towel????”

The call came mid afternoon. I am embarrassed to say that I wasn’t even in the right mindset when I answered. I had recently updated my cell phone, in order to function more versatilely while out of my office, so without even checking the number I answered “Hell–ooh!” The deep chuckle on the other end of the line had me startled out of my whimsy, realizing it was not someone I knew. I immediately recovered myself and said “Oh, I am so sorry. This is Zoey how can I help you?” He cleared his throat and spoke with a silky voice that made me feel like he was whispering directly in my ear. I felt a ripple of awareness and instinctively straightened my posture. “I am looking for a designer. I travel a lot but I will be in your area in 2 weeks. I have seen your work and one of your previous clients personally recommended you.” My heart rate tripped then sped up to full force. He went on to say “I have emailed all of the project specs to your account and will need 3 layout proposals by the time I arrive.” I replied with the coolest voice I could muster despite my excitement “I will not hesitate to email you with a few proofs once I have read over your specs. I look foreword to working on you…OH I mean for you…on this project.” as I blushed profusely (which he couldn’t have possibly seen) he chuckled again. He finally said “I will contact you soon with the meeting place and time as my schedule allows. Until then…thank you.” and he hung up. The breath I was holding left in a whoosh. I felt like I was hyperventilating. I needed to get a hold of myself.

I dove for my laptop. I needed to prove that this wasn’t some prank. I opened the mail app and there it was. Everything was there and my head began swimming with concepts to bring his site up to date with a new template and design for overall user ease. The copy would be sent at a later time but the architecture/ design was all I was responsible for. I immediately sat down to sketch out my ideas. I had to make a good impression and I couldn’t risk disappointment. My head kept revisiting the voice now imprinted in my head. It was almost haunting.

Over the next week I sat enthusiastically at my computer making the most of every waking hour. I was going to make a great impression if it killed me. I had my proofs checked and gathered all of the documents to attach and compress. My email was concise and indicated my willingness to adapt any of the three choices, to further make the aesthetics pop, for the information being displayed. I was still hearing that deep chuckle as I pressed “Send.” My sudden discomfort became full blown anxiety as the hours ticked by. I had no phone number to contact my client and was kicking myself for not even asking his name. Plus, he had said he was traveling so I had no idea when he would call.

Trying to calm my nerves, I decided a hot shower was in order. Days spent just coding and designing does not bode well for body funk so I rewarded myself with a special deep conditioner and used the last of my LUSH body scrub. I was on a cloud of the freshly rinsed Sea Salt and Pomegranate scents as I stepped out of the steamy enclosed tub when I heard the doorbell. Julie was due with my Fed Ex shipment of the day so I rushed to the door in my big fluffy towel as my long dripping wet hair created a trail of drops on the hardwood floors. I whipped open the door saying “Jul…” when I froze in my tracks to find a very tall man staring down at me. “OH!” and slammed the door in his face. I knew exactly who he was as soon as I heard his chuckle on the other side of the door. He started with “Zoey? I just got into town and saw the designs you sent. I thought I would come over to review them while I had some time.” Without a second thought I yanked the door back open, still in the towel and stammered “I am so sorry. I just wasn’t expecting you. Please come in.” I backed away from the door to allow him to enter. It was at this moment I chose to realize AGAIN that I was only wearing a towel and said “If you’ll excuse me a moment.” The lidded look he gave spread goose bumps down my arms as I backed up slowly.

The fact that I had backed up didn’t really register immediately as a separation, because the distance was no farther apart. His approach was almost catlike, stealthy. I wasn’t really afraid just more confused when I bumped into the wall behind me and he closed the space between us. “I wasn’t expecting this.” were the last words I heard when he put his hands to either side of my jaw and closed in and kissed me deeply. My eyes drifted shut and my arms snaked up to his hair and shoulder. He tasted delicious and his tongue was thorough. I was drowning in sensations. His hands left my neck to grab my waist and press me more fully into the wall with his body. I felt the tug of my towel release from my breasts and heard his growl as I felt the warmth of his hand cover the newly revealed skin. I tried to gasp for air but he was having none of it. My head began to swim with the excitement.

I hadn’t realized I had even been missing physical contact until he touched me. I couldn’t remember my last intimate encounter and now I was lost. I practically climbed up his body and wrapped my legs around his waist. He held me easily against the wall with his hips grinding into my now naked body. I felt like a live electrical wire sparking, fully charged and thrashing about out of control. His mouth left mine only to reattach along my jaw and neck. It was all I could do to catch my breath and grind back into him as I tilted my head back to give him more access. His one hand held me firmly kneading my ass and inching closer and closer to my center as his other wandered curiously over the rest of me. My audible moans were driving him to explore every sensitive area available to his touch. I was breathless and said “I need…” and he just looked me straight in the eye and said “I know” as he lifted me off the wall and carried me down the hall to the bedroom.

I was being carried and it felt like I was flying. One minute I was upright and the next I was on my back with him staring down at me. My self consciousness had completely left the building and all I wanted now was for him to be as naked as I was as he tore at his clothing. The heavy lidded gaze never left my body as he pealed the boxer briefs from his waist releasing his hard cock. My eyes were glued to the evidence of his desire. His chuckle brought my eyes immediately back up to his face as he said “We don’t have to worry about that just yet.”

He crawled up the bed but stopped halfway. The look of my confusion brought another smile to his lips before they disappeared into my navel and made a slow painful decent for my aching mound. I felt the tip of his tongue circle my own desire and just about jumped as he lapped at the damp folds then inserting two fingers deep inside my sheath. I arched up off the mattress only to be restrained back down with his other arm as it quickly snaked up my body to halt my twisting body and clamp down on my swollen nipple. I raced toward the climax he had planted from the moment I heard his voice. It had been seducing me from day one and I broke apart with every lick, every pinch, every swirl of his fingers. My release was cataclysmic.

Boneless and sated I lay exhausted beneath him. “Now you’re ready.” I felt his body shift but didn’t register his words until I felt his hard length at my opening. I was so ready he entered me with one long fast stroke. Immediately I was back to full awareness. He gathered both of my hands up over my head and simply stared into my eyes as he pistoned himself in and out of my body. I couldn’t move. My legs were still quivering and his gaze was hypnotizing. I tried to keep my eyes on his but they kept drifting shut as the sensations began culminating into another building orgasm. “NO! …look at me. I want you to know who is making you cum.” That was all it took and I was falling again. My scream was swallowed by his mouth over mine.

It felt as if he grew even more as my muscles gripped him tightly. The new dampness drove him farther into me and I was choking to get air into my lungs. His strokes were fast deep pounding thrusts and I was beginning to feel bold. I took my legs up and over his back and rolled my hips suddenly and quickly and successfully was now on top. I grinned triumphantly once he released my hands only for him to grab my hips and begin lifting his hips as he pulled me down onto him over and over. My heavy breasts were helplessly unrestrained as they bounced with every thrust. It felt like I was on an amusement ride, without a bra, being tossed around. The smirk on his face was one of pure dominance. He knew what I wanted despite not know it myself. I placed my one hand on his thigh and the other on his stomach for support and let my head fall back and closed my eyes to absorb every sensation.

I felt his left hand leave my hip and explore my tumultuous breasts while his right hand readjusted shifting foreward to have access to my now overly sensitive clit. He knew I couldn’t deny him access in this wide spread position and took his advantage. The combination of his internal assault and external torment again had my body climbing that steep mountain toward the summit. I began rocking my entire body in time to the pace he had set. Just as I was about to lose myself he again shifted my whole body and this time I was on my hands and knees. He felt even deeper than the previous position and it was startling. It was almost painful, but I wanted that too. I yelped and moaned and thrust back against him despite his firm grip on my hips. My insolence was met with a loud but pleasurable sound of his hand cracking on my ass. I didn’t even feel the slap I was so lost, just the warmed sensation of where his hand had landed. I bucked again and again felt the warmth of his hand but with a sharp little sting. That was all it took for me thrash wildly.

His hand wrapped down and around my hips. His fingers made a path toward my swollen flesh and purposefully kept his touch just out of reach. My body was ready to explode and he knew if he even rubbed me a for a single stroke I would be gone. His torture was excrusiatingly exquisite. I tried to maipulate my movements to get what I wanted, just one thorough stroke was all I wanted. His chuckle behind me was almost infuriating. He leaned down and got right up to my ear and said “Oh no you don’t. You will look at me when you cum…remember? And not until I say.” OH! To be so close…I had no idea it could be like this! All I wanted was being denied and I was getting angry. “Please!”

I was thrown to my back with my legs on his shoulders. “Open!” My legs parted and he sank back into me but instead of thrusting he just sat there and again said “Open!” this time staring at my mouth as he placed two fingers in my waiting mouth and sucked. He took those fingers out to my instant regret and then said “Now…look at me and don’t take your eyes off me.” Then I felt it. The numbness spreading from my core out to my thighs and toes as my next climax built in a completely new way from all the others. His touch was faint but powerful. I could feel myself gush and drench his planted root despite its lack of movement my internal pulsing was forcing a subtle movement that was driving me over a peak higher than I had ever been to. OH! My eyes drifted shut as did his abrupt halt to my pleasure. My eyes refocused and he proceeded again from the top. ARGH! I wanted to move, I wanted to buck and apply the pressure I needed but his dominance was just as enthralling.

I held fast, kept eye contact despite my natural instinct to fall inward and then it was there. The clamp of my pussy made him fall forward for a brief second before he recoverd his position and then took my button and just pressed as it launched into a full out explosion. The involuntary moments were almost painful and he was moving to adjust and couldn’t hold still any longer. He assaulted me with his rampant cock with a force I couldn’t compare. His orgasm was clearly as powerful as my own as I watched his face contort but continued to maintain eye contact. It was a connection I hadn’t felt before. We were both breatheless as our muscles release the tension built.

As he gathered my limp body into his chest and feeling his arms securely wrapped about my torso and I fell to his vocal command… “Sleep.”

Girls on Girls

When I was in college I was in a class that focused on Women’s Issues and of course the class was packed with sexually open-minded ladies like myself. The only guys to grace the class were those with (or without) brain enough to realize this was going to be explicit shit. I saw more pussy in this class than in all the porn videos I had seen to date. (to be honest I hadn’t seen all that much at that point but I changed that later) I learned all about Annie Sprinkle and felt empowered that my body was awesome…even down there!

It was in this class that we broke into small discussion groups and started talking, off topic mind you, about each others “lesbian” experiences. I really didn’t think I could be all that included in the conversation since my status has always been staunchly focused on the acquisition of cock not pussy. But as some of the girls began recounting their experiences I said to myself “HEY…I’ve showered intimately with another girl and wanted to touch her.”, “I have fingered another girl under the covers while she fingered me.”, and by the time the conversation was over I had racked up at least 4 seperate experiences and that made me feel a bit better about how, not only, normal I was but how open minded outside of my previously conceived sexual rigidity I was.

Amusingly the guy in our group sat silently among us hesitant to speak and disturb any of the stories being recounted, not unlike a zoologist observing the wild creatures around them…no sudden movements. hehe We would each glance over to him like an outsider and snicker and giggle as he stared out like he was behind a pane of glass. One girl really had a talent for making him squirm…on purpose. But I digress…

A close friend introduced me to the following author, and her writing really struck a chord with me. I have included an excerpt from her book The Straight Girl’s Guide to Sleeping with Chicks by Jen Sincero. Don’t forget that my comments are the one’s in bold brackets.

The Joy of Sex with Chicks

…Several things about this experience (sleeping with chicks) really struck me, because they were so remarkably different from being with a guy.

1. When you are with another girl the roles can switch back and forth in a much more equal way than they do with a guy. You can be the butch one, totally in control, throwing her around in bed then switch to being submissively girly. It obviously depends on who you are sleeping with, since some women identify with being more dominant or submissive and aren’t up for flippy-flopping, but if you get with someone who hasn’t chosen sides you can switch back and forth and feel fully in either role, which I find incredibly hot. This is not to say you can’t do something similar with men-I have been with stunningly open and experimental guys-but even if you put them in a dress, strap them down, and make them call you Daddy they still have a dick and you still have a pussy, which automatically makes them more masculine and you more feminine. Without that biological reality you’re totally free to be whatever, and I found that incredibly liberating to feel one hundred percent on both sides. (Even though I believe I have chosen the submissive side I am not particularly sure I would feel like I have should I have the opportunity to be with another woman. And this just illustrates how it could be advantageous to BE more open should you partner also be up for the dual role switching.)
2. The way women orgasm is so different from the way guys do. We don’t need to stop and recharge before starting up again, so we can go on till the break of dawn without a time-out. I never in my life had non-stop sessions like i did with girls. It’s crazy! It can bring you to a state of prolonged excitement that it’s almost unbearable. There were times when I thought I was going to have a heart attack. (This is where I am kicking myself. Well first of all, I have NEVER been with a guy that felt any interest in giving me more than one, two at the most, orgasms so this experience ALONE would rock my world so I can only imagine it would be just as amazing for her.)
3. I found that everytime I did something to her I could imagine doing it to myself. So much so that I could practically feel it even if I wasn’t touching myself at all. The combo of watching her get off and imagining what it must feel like could bring me to orgasm. (I have never done this but can get behind the idea of actually feeling something happening despite not having any actual physical stimulation.)
4. Women’s bodies are incredibly soft! They are like the softest pillows in the world. This has made me totally understand why men go apeshit over us. It also made me aware of my own body’s softness, and made me feel incredibly sexy in a way I never had before. (Just reading this made me really think hard about my own body and feel a bit more comfortable in my own skin.)
5. Lastly, because we live in a society that has a large stick up its ass, and also because my sexual hometown is Straightsville, (I grew up in that town too!) sleeping with someone I wasn’t “supposed” to made me feel kind of kinky. This turned me on like nobody’s business. I felt a teeny bit nasty, dirty and queer, and I think this helped me step outside of my sexual box more than I ever had before. I did stuff with girls that I always wanted to try-we went to sex clubs, tied each other up, dabbled in S&M, and enjoyed the wide world of sex toys. I attribute a large part of this to the fact that I was with like-minded kinky and adventurous souls whom I trusted and … (Yeah, I have totally always trusted girls to have a more natural compassion and sensible understanding for making each other feel good and safe not just emotionally but physically. This just makes total sense that I could open up more sexually without as much fear of shame or self-consciousness…hell I flash my girlfriends tits and ass just for a laugh without a second thought so how big of a jump would it be to just touch each other??? If we were both into it that is.)
Buy the Book: Copyrighted Material

So this is also an apology to the girl I turned down. She was cute, sweet and vulnerable and I was young, sexually insecure and naive. I have regretted being an immature ass, without the good enough sense to not laugh in her face, for putting herself out there and telling me she found me attractive and wanted to go out with me. I am horrified at my 20 year old self’s behavior and if I had to go back in time I would do things very differently!!! I hope she can forgive me.

Come on, Out with it.

Faking an orgasm, for me, is one of my biggest no nos. It is either going to happen or it isn’t…for either of us. Do I feel self conscious, Yes. Does that mean I should lie about something that makes me feel euphoric, No. Does it mean if my partner works harder it will happen, Maybe. Does it mean that if he doesn’t cum that I will feel responsible, Sometimes. The real key is making eachother feel good and THAT comes with verbally acknowledging what is happening even if you aren’t sure why it isn’t “happening for you.”

I have had many times in my past sexual history gasped and moaned and even cried out but if you have EVER seen me cum it is UNMISTAKABLE. It is not something I can hide, lie about or fake because it involves my entire being. By faking an orgasm, for me, is like cheating myself. Now not ALL women feel this way and to each her or his own. My partner still knows I am enjoying myself by other signals but reaching that precipice and diving off it is not something to be dismissed like something on a checklist of chores. I refuse to spray Lysol in the room an claim I have been hard at work cleaning all day so why would I bother lying about a climax.

The article below made a lot of sense and gives insight into the reality of faking it and making it!

Why faking an orgasm isn’t as harmless as you may think. Learn how to reach your peak—for real.

Faking it happens. A lot. In fact, studies show that 60 percent of women have delivered an Oscar-worthy performance between the sheets. And while it’s commonly assumed that women pretend to climax in order to boost a partner’s ego or speed up a snoozy romp, new research from Temple University found that for many women, there are other factors at work—among them, a fear of being vulnerable, insecurity about their skills in bed, and the choice to use their faux O as a means to increase their own arousal. While there’s little harm in the occasional bluff, here’s why you should curb the counterfeit climaxing and find your true peak potential.

Fear of Vulnerability
If a woman isn’t emotionally ready to open up to her partner, faking it can be a way to keep the guy at arm’s length. A few reasons: She may be wary of becoming too dependent on the guy, or of becoming engulfed by his personality or world and thus losing herself. “There’s a vulnerability and emotional risk that comes with climaxing in front of someone,” says Yvonne K. Fulbright, Ph.D., author of Sultry Sex Talk to Seduce Any Lover. A fear of rejection or icky issues from a past relationship may also keep a woman from revealing herself. Bona fide O’s require “truly surrendering to the experience and not worrying about being judged,” she says. But if you resist letting go, it’s nearly impossible to be swept up in the awesomely authentic sensations.

O-vercome it: Amp up the trust and intimacy you need inside the bedroom by speaking up more outside of it, says Women’s Health advisor Debby Herbenick, Ph.D., author of Because It Feels Good. “Being authentic about expressing who you are is the key to better sex,” she says. Start small: Confide a secret or share an embarrassing story, and when he asks where you want to eat dinner, pick a place instead of saying “Anywhere is fine,” says Herbenick. “Men and women who are emotionally close will have an easier time being honest with their partner about how sex feels for them—whether it feels good enough to lead to an orgasm,” she says. Improve your bond during the day and you’ll be more comfortable directing him “to the left, a little softer, now faster”—and ultimately letting yourself let go—when the lights are out. (this is where I am a bit shy…gasp…I know, hard to believe but in person I like being read. It’s a quirk, not a useful one but certainly one I could change. I guess it just sounds to my ears like I am being bossy and since I lean more toward the submissive I hesitate to verbalize my needs in the moment.)

Some women put on bed-rattling performances because they’re insecure about how long it takes them to climax or what it actually takes to get them there, says Vivienne Cass, Ph.D., author of The Elusive Orgasm. “They see these highly orgasmic women in movies and think that’s the norm,” she says. Meanwhile, men who watch porn—i.e., most of them—are used to seeing women get off in seconds, which adds to the pressure.

O-vercome it: Be honest about your expectations, and push him to do the same, says Fulbright. A grand finale is not always a given. According to a study from the University of Chicago, only 5 percent of women always climax through intercourse, while nearly 35 percent rarely or never do. In fact, you and your guy probably need to get a little creative. “Research shows that most women need clitoral stimulation to orgasm, through masturbation, stimulation from a partner, or oral sex,” says Charlene L. Muehlenhard, Ph.D., professor of clinical psychology at the University of Kansas. (yeah…I don’t remember the last time or if I EVER had a vaginal orgasm. I am more of a clitoral stimulation gal myself but getting there needs communication.)

Ramp up your coital confidence by becoming more familiar with the touches and sensations that make you tick, says Herbenick. When you’re alone, try masturbating, fantasizing, or using a vibrator. When you’re with your partner, do some hotter-sex homework: Explore each other’s bodies for the sole purpose of figuring out what turns you on—with zero intention of orgasm. Then you can show each other what it takes to push you over the edge. (What’s that you say…mutual masterbation…why yes that sounds like a wonderful idea!)

Libido Enhancement
Gasps, growls, heavy breathing, and other faux-O methods can be a big turn-on for women, according to research from Erin B. Cooper, a doctoral student in clinical psychology at Temple University. In her study, women reported that imitating an orgasm increased their levels of arousal and upped the intensity of sex. Plus, common sense holds that if you appear to be on the brink of ecstasy, your guy will most likely kick things into high gear, improving the odds for an authentic finish.

O-vercome it: You may not have to. It’s usually fine to keep “fake it to make it” in your better-sex bag of tricks, as long as your guy knows it’s not his shortcoming but rather something that turns you on, says Herbenick. That said, it can be just as effective to take part in the sweaty, loud fanfare and shelve the fake finish. Try spicing things up with dirty talk (what a wonderful idea!) or visualizing having an orgasm as you approach climax, she says. It may sound like psychobabble, but imagining the sensations of an orgasm in your head—the sights, smells, and sounds—can help push you over the top. And then you can leave the faux O’s for those women on the big screen.

Now hear this: A whopping 80 percent of women admitted to making pleasure sounds such as moaning and groaning half of the time when they knew they weren’t going to climax, found researchers from the University of Central Lancashire and the University of Leeds in the U.K. Oddly enough, women reported being quiet during masturbation (I don’t personally cry out but the my heavy breathing is a big indication) and oral sex (In this scenario I try but can rarely keep quite), i.e., when they were more likely to orgasm. Why the yowls of half-hearted passion? “Women know that being loud in bed can enhance the physical intensity of the experience for her partner,” explains Diana Hoppe, M.D., author of Healthy Sex Drive, Healthy You. It’s all good to give him a little audio feedback, but if you’re not truly enjoying yourself, offer him more specific heat-of-the-moment direction in lieu of a synthetic sound track. You’ll make beautiful music—together.

His Pretend Pleasure
It’s not just us— guys fake it too. According to researchers at the University of Kansas, a quarter of the men studied said they’ve acted out an orgasm during sex. Most men reported faking it because reaching orgasm was unlikely or taking too long, while others were bored, tired, or not in the mood, says study author Charlene L. Muehlenhard, Ph.D.

The telltale signs? The men in the study who artificially O’d said they did so by thrusting harder or faster, clenching their muscles or freezing up, verbally expressing that they had reached orgasm, or acting exhausted afterward. (The study also showed that guys were more likely to say that they faked it because their partner was unattractive, while women were more likely to fess up to faking it when they felt their partner was unskilled.)

We polled guys on to get their POV on phony climaxes:

41% believe there has been a time when both he and his partner faked it.
59% say they can tell when a woman fakes it. How? (
36% say it’s because she’s overly dramatic.
21% of guys would pass up the chance to climax for real in order to fake an O at the “right” time.
46% think the best way to fake an orgasm is to use a condom and trash it before his partner gets a look.
23% say the best way is to keep the lights out! (where is the fun in that???)
61% of men who haven’t faked an orgasm say they would do so.

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So I will continue to be honest about my O and you can do what ever the hell you want, but hopefully this has helped.

Slipping in the Backdoor

image11Yes, I am posting late today. So it is only fair that I not only insinuate that I am using the title of today’s post in more ways than one. I have been investigating Anal Play. Based on feedback from friends and a very minimal personal experience with the topic it deserves attention. Many men have a proclivity for Anal Play and BSDM partners are in to (as I am discovering) pushing limits and testing boundaries so it is only normal to make it a topic worth investigating.

My current fascination is with the prep work. The “training” with the use of Anal Plugs and Beads has been a topic of discussion and I find myself curious. So away we go.


Just because you haven’t done it yet doesn’t mean it’s not fun! That’s what a lot of lovers are discovering about the joys of anal sex toys, either as part of foreplay or during sex. But if neither you nor your partner have tried anal toys, you may be a little confused about exactly what those funny-shaped things are and how to use them. Anal sex toys fall into three main categories: anal beads, anal plugs, and prostate massagers or vibrators.

But first, a little about sex lube (lube should always come first in anal play!). A good anal sex lube is an important part of the fun: because the “back door” has no natural lubricant and the area is very delicate, it needs a thicker lube than usual. Pick a high-quality sex lube designed specifically for anal use. Or try a slight numbing lube, especially good for first-timers. You might have to continue adding lubricant during anal play, no matter which kind you use.

The biggest rule in anal play is to take it slow and easy: nothing in anal play should ever hurt or be uncomfortable. Communication with your partner is an important part of the experience: tell him or her what feels good and what doesn’t.

Warming up: The second most important rule in anal play is to relax the anal area. This is where the fun foreplay really begins, with a nice relaxing massage of the entire ass. Start with one of Adam and Eve’s erotic massage oils. Massage the buttocks in a slow and sexy motion with your hands, letting your partner get really relaxed (but don’t let him or her fall asleep!). Then, lube up your little finger and (informing your partner first — no surprises in anal warm-ups) sloooooowly insert it in the anus, just a little way. Massage the anus opening slowly with the finger, until you feel your partner relax, and keep inserting the finger and massaging. If your partner feels uncomfortable at any point, stop and back up. This will also tell you how far you can insert an anal toy to start. And when you’re using your finger, be sure to trim and file the nail. If you have long nails, try a cotton ball around the nail and use a latex glove.

Anal Beads: These are the easiest and most comfortable to use for beginners, especially the “graduated-size” beads that start small and get gradually bigger. Graduated beads often come in “sticks” of soft flexible material like silicone or jelly connecting the beads. A good example of these beads are jelly anal beads with 10 beads that start at only a quarter-inch diameter. Of course there are beads on actual strings, and even vibrating anal beads that light up and flash in different colors — you have to see these work to believe them!). And if you’re worried that these toys might get lost “up there,” relax: anal beads come with handles. To see Adam and Eve’s great selection of anal beads and toys, go here.

How to use them: Remember to lube up generously! Insert the beads slowly, giving your partner a chance to get used to the feel. When your partner says the beads feel good, stop inserting and leave the beads in during sex. When your partner starts to climax, pull the beads out one at a time, straight down, during orgasm. Be prepared for screams of pleasure.

Anal Plugs: Anal or butt plugs are designed to stay in place during sex. They’re tapered cones to glide in easily, but quickly widen for more sensations. Our advice to beginners is to start small with one of the plugs pictured here. Butt plugs can vibrate or not, and many of them come with a suction-cup base for solo play. Then there are plugs that are more like a combination of anal beads and butt plugs For a mind-bending sensation, you can also get anal plugs that vibrate. For a few of our multiple-speed plugs, see our selection here.

How to use them: You can leave the plug in place all during sex, or during masturbation. Start slowly, breathe deeply and relax your sphincter muscles as the plug goes in. Eventually, your muscles will relax just below the widest part of the plug, holding it in place. Don’t panic if it comes out: using an anal plug takes practice as your muscles get used to the sex toy.

Read the Full Article:


Butt plugs are a great way to explore anal sensations and anal play. Many people will also start playing with butt plugs as a way to gear up to having anal intercourse with a partner. If you’re just starting to explore this kind of play we recommend reading our article on enjoying anal play which covers the basics. Once you’re ready to start playing with your butt plug here are some tips on where to start.

start solo
Even if you’re planning on using a butt plug with a partner, we recommend starting out on your own. This gives you the chance to explore and experiment with your new butt plug without any distractions (pleasant though they may be). Using a butt plug on your own is also important as it’s the only way you’ll be able to tell a partner how you want them to use it on you.

cleanliness before…
When you get your butt plug home be sure to wash it well before first use. Look it over carefully and check for tears, seams, or rough edges. Make sure you’ve read and understood the care instructions for the material your butt plug is made of.

keep yourself clean while getting dirty
Bacteria that live happily in the anus can cause major problems elsewhere, like the vagina, the mouth, the eyes. When you’re playing with anal penetration you need to be careful not to touch other parts of your body (or things like your bottle of lube) with fingers or toys that have been inside your bum. We recommend using condoms on butt plugs and using gloves for your hands. This makes clean up much easier and faster, which lets you move on to other things.

don’t forget the lube
You should use a good quality lubricant with all toys for penetration but this is especially true for butt plugs and other toys for anal penetration. The anus and rectum can tear and adding lubricant makes anal penetration both safer and more comfortable. When using the lube, squeeze some into your gloved hand and rub it along the shaft and tip of the butt plug. You will likely have to add more lube during sex play.

butt plug as main event
Start slowly using your butt plug for penetration. Remember not to force it in, but instead press it against your body and relax, breathe, and bare down a bit until you can feel your sphincter muscles relax and the butt plug slips in. Once you’re inside, you can play with gently pushing the butt plug in and then letting it slip out. As you get more turned on and more relaxed you’ll be able take more of the butt plug in, until you get to the point where it’s in all the way and your sphincter muscles are around the neck of the plug.

learning to control your muscles
The first few times you use a butt plug it will likely slide out (or even come shooting out) when you let go of the base of the plug. As you get more comfortable anal penetration you can learn to control your muscles and keep the butt plug in. This won’t always work (for example laughing and sneezing will both cause the plug to slip out whether you like it or not). Once you’re comfortable taking the butt plug all the way in, you can start to play with control by allowing it to slip out a little, and then try to draw it back in. With time, practice, and increased comfort you can gain more control.

butt plug as side show
Once you can insert your plug all the way with comfort, and you have some control over it staying in, you can explore other sex acts while having a butt plug in place. Try masturbating to orgasm, or having sex with your partner. See what it feels like to massage your perineum, or stimulate other parts of your body while you’ve got your butt plug in place. Many people report that having an orgasm with a butt plug really increases the intensity of the orgasm and their body awareness during orgasm.

partner meet butt plug
The main drawback to using a butt plug as opposed to your own body is that you don’t get the same immediate feedback loop. This means using butt plugs requires lots of communication if you’re using it on a partner or letting a partner use one on you. If you’re looking for a toy you can use for anal penetration with a partner, we recommend anal safe dildos instead of butt plugs. A much better way to use butt plugs with a partner is for one or both of you to have one in while having other kinds of partner sex. You can make putting the plug in part of sex, but once a plug is in, they’re mostly meant to stay there, at least for a few minutes.

double penetration
A few people like to use butt plugs for double penetration. Double penetration is an activity that requires a lot of patience, lubricant, and protection if you’re going to do it safely. For women it’s important to remember not to transfer any fluids or material from the anus to the vagina. If you’re interested in exploring double penetration we recommend reading about it first, and starting with small butt plugs.

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So off I go…ending the day just under the wire. More intrigued and willing to open the door.

Waxing Poetic

Over the years I have made it a point feel good about my body having adopted the philosophy that I make my own happiness. For years I lived in a community that made me rethink the practicality of shaving my legs and armpits. It was intimidating at first. I had been shaving since I was a teenager and had a deeply ingrained psychology that clean smooth legs are the standard expectation of the general public. I had to reprogram my need to please others with my choice of having hair free legs and stop caring about the needs of other in favor of my own personal comfort. I was done shaving and that was that. To this day I have not shaved my legs once in 14 years.

In that time, my community has changed but my own comfort level has not me compromised but altered. A close friend from the area asked me some key questions about my choices not to shave out of authentic curiosity (I respect that having a health dose of my own.) I shared my distain for the ritual of shaving several times a week for optimal hairless plus my own accounts of sitting in the laps of women as a child and feeling that horribly uncomfortable stubble beneath my own smooth and sensitive thighs. Who wasn’t to experience that? So she went on to introduce me to the art of waxing. I was not a fan of pain but am a firm believer in weighing my options with pros and cons. I still liked the concept of smooth legs but was not willing to compromise with a razor or depilatory products. She gave me the number of her waxer and I called and here I am 8 years later getting my first brazilian wax.

That’s right. I just got my first (US) Brazilian wax (everything clean off.) Now I had shaved clean down there, once years and years ago, and for a full week the discomfort was worth NEVER repeating. Sure it looked great and I was smooth for all of 12 hours but the pain, itching and reddened irritated skin drove me to manhandle my privates in very public venues just for the sake of relief and my embarrassment was enough to last a lifetime. It has been just about 24 hours since my wax session, as of this moment, and the area is pain and irritation free. If you have a low threshold for pain a OTC pain med like Tylenol or Advil taken 30 minutes before the appointment will make any swelling and pain very manageable.

I made the choice to go for the drastic change for the sake that I had for years thought of making the move but chickening out at the last moment opting for a bikini wax instead. It took time to feel comfortable enough to go that deep but it was all for me. My partner had no say in the decision and I am all the happier for my choice. So would I do it again?…YES! Will I keep it up? (no less than every 6 weeks to keep the skin of this sensitive area safe) I intend to try. So I have provided further evidence in the article below that this is indeed a worthy pursuit.


Brazilian wax, playboy bikini wax, a panty-line wax, full monty wax or the Sphinx? Which waxing method do you prefer? If you are confused, don’t worry. Allow us to tell you that if you’re looking for your bikini bottom to look hair free and super sexy, Brazilian waxing is the most popular option around. Check out a few benefits of Brazilian waxing and decide for yourself.

1. Be worry free with your low cut denims and skimpy bikinis
Forget your worries about bending over in your hot pants or raising your hands up in the air in your low rise denims. The benefit of Brazilian waxing is that it will give you a clean bikini line with which you can wear the skimpiest triangular bikini or lingerie without worrying about a single strand of hair showing. Due to this benefit of Brazilian waxing, it is also popularly called “Hollywood waxing”. (Well I am not personally a fan of low rise jeans for my specific shape but I can certianly see the attraction.)

2. Have advanced pleasure in sexual intimacy with the benefits of Brazilian waxing
We think this can be a very personal choice for your partner. Some men like their women to be completely clean from the pubic area, but for some men, this can be a complete turn off. But we sure have heard about the various benefits of Brazilian waxing to increase pleasure during foreplay or sex. The smooth sensation on bare skin can give some women goosebumps! (Yeah…It is a good thing)

3. Brazilian waxing lasts longer than shaving
Well, it’s pretty obvious that waxing lasts longer than shaving. But trust us ladies, this benefit of Brazilian waxing is so good that you’ll get addicted to it. Imagine not spending hours in the shower cleaning up your bikini bottom area every third day? And the other really amazing benefit of Brazilian waxing is that even the pores of your skin won’t start opening and showing up, as they do with shaving. (HELLO!!!!)

4. Brazilian waxing reduces in-growth
We women have always complained of shaving giving us in-growth, right? Then imagine what shaving could do to your pubic area? Amongst many benefits of Brazilian waxing, what we love is that Brazilian waxing doesn’t give in-growth. Small in-grown hair in the bikini area can bring extreme rashes, redness and flaky as well as itchy, skin. Say goodbye to all these irritants with the benefits of Brazilian waxing. (Can we get an AMEN?)

5. Brazilian waxing feels more hygienic
Once you get Brazilian waxing done, you will definitely feel that it is more hygienic than other waxing methods for the pubic area. Brazilian waxing helps in reducing dead skin over the pubis and bacteria occurring from vaginal discharge. One of the biggest benefits of Brazilian waxing over shaving is that there are lesser chances of razor cuts causing your skin to bleed. After a Brazilian waxing session, you will feel so clean and light as a feather! (exhaled sigh of relief….ahhhhhhhh)

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There once was a girl from the county
who waxed all the hair off her bounty
every time she’s alone
she just lets her hands roam
all over her smooth little mound-y


Feeling and Looking Sexy

I have never felt better about my self and more confident about my body than when I was sexually charged. So when I found the article below I was like YES!! Look for my comments within


We spend countless hours and dollars to doll ourselves up, but Mother Nature has given us women an au natural way to turn heads: S-E-X.

Sure, there’s a time and a place for perfectly applied eyeliner and not-a-strand-out-of-place hair. But really, what’s hotter than devil-may-care, mussed up bedhead and a swagger that just won’t quit? It’s time to channel your inner Brigitte Bardot, ladies!

Sex is the ultimate beauty enhancer. No product or procedure can beat getting down and dirty in making you even more gorgeous. Check out these eight reasons why.

1. Natural Makeup
Every morning, you apply makeup and by lunch, you already need a touch up! But if you spend 15 minutes a day doing the deed, your cheeks will naturally flush, your lips will have that perfect red pout and your skin will glow. Move over Sephora—sex is nature’s makeup! As YouDoc Dr. Michael Roizen, the Chief Wellness Officer at the Cleveland Clinic Roizen explains, during sex, “You get excited, and you vasodilate. [Just like] vasodilation happens in the male penis, which is swelling it with blood…well, the same thing is occurring in all your mucosal membranes [to give] you that ruddy look, that redness or that glow. It’s all the same phenomenon.” And, might we add, the sex effect lasts for hours. (Well I personally go as natural as possible. Make up makes my feel like my face is dirty. About the only thing I do apply is the occasional lip stain or balm. I love how I look after sex but typically I am about to go to sleep after since it has been a nocturnal event …since I had kids. However a morning quickie might be called for in those cases where I need to look extra special.)

2. Save Face
Even if you stay out of the sun, you still may be at risk for premature pruning. “Other than sun exposure, the major wrinkler of the skin is your arteries,” explain Roizen. “Whether you have a wrinkle in your heart, which is a heart attack, or a wrinkle in your skin, it’s the same process.” Good blood flow brings nutrients and oxygen to the skin, which staves off wrinkling. Guess what increases blood flow and makes your skin act younger? You guessed it—sex. (I spent much of my youth out in the sun, in the pool, camps, and outdoor fun. So I basically have a permanent tan on my arms and some natural color on my face but much of that could also be my Gallic heritage. I will have to start “exercising” my heart more frequently and make sure that blood oxygen are flowing to every cell more efficiently.)

3. Sex Does a Body Good
We all know that the sexiest thing a woman can have is confidence. According to sexpert Mary Jo Rapini, M.Ed, L.P.C., knocking boots gives every woman a swagger. “When I ask men: ‘What is the most attractive thing about your woman?’ one of the top three things is always the way she moves.” After getting frisky, you walk with an even more feminine gait. Your head is held high, your hips swaying from side to side—in other words, you’re getting your strut on. That confidence just reels the men right back in, creating a perfect cycle of sex appeal. (I have to say, I love going to the grocery store. I make sure to dress really well when I go and feel really good about how I move and sway. I have no trouble smiling at strangers covertly and in turn bringing a smile to their day too. So as for reeling them in I think the confidence I receive from friends on and offline make all the difference.)

4. Doing “It” is the Best Hair Do
Sex can also contribute to a healthy head of hair. Roizen points out: “Each hair follicle has a blood vessel to it, and your blood flow is a major determinate of both internal and external beauty.” More blood flow means you’re nourishing your hair. Plus, you know sliding around in your sheets gives your tresses that va-va-va voluminous sexy bedhead. (Now I never really thought about this but my long curly thick locks don’t lie.)

5. Don’t Worry, Be Happy
There’s a reason wrinkles are called worry lines—but no amount of eye cream can put your mind at ease like the horizontal hula. “Sex is the best stress reliever,” says Rapini. Since orgasming is all about learning to relax and breathe, when you’re having sex regularly, the calming effects cumulate and you’ll enjoy long-term stress relief. Rapini points out: “The normal sex act itself takes between three and 20 minutes. That’s not very long, but it influences your whole day, it can even influence you for several days.” And that lack of tension will be all over your beautiful face! (Not much more than a few laugh lines mar this face but hey they just show my character. Besides who doesn’t want a hot lillte secret sex smile gracing their face all day.)

6. Busting Out
During sex, you’ll have even more to show off. According to Dr. Roizen, during sex, “breasts enlarge 25 percent; nipple height increases a half inch.” You’ll be wowing your man sans Wonder Bra. (OK…no help needed in that department, but the extra sensitivity helps.)

7. Sexercise
While it might be hard to motivate yourself to get to the gym, if you’re ready to spend some time on your back—or on all fours, or in a pretzel shape—sex can give you a great cardio workout. According to Roizen, “From an arterial standpoint, having sex is the equivalent of engaging in Zumba.” The more you do it, the more it does for your bod! (Hmmm)

8. Fountain of Youth
If a woman has an average sex life, her real age can be two to eight years younger than the number on her driver’s license, notes Roizen. “You end up being functionally younger … it’s a consistent effect,” he says. It lowers your risk of the three major killers: heart disease, cancer and all others—which is really depression, suicide, mood changes and things that cause attitudinal changes.” If you keep getting frisky with your partner, you can both turn back the hands of time. (NO WONDER! I don’t mean to brag but I have been told that I look no where near 40!)

So, gorgeous, the next time someone asks you what your beauty secret is, you can tell her it’s your sex life. And how!

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So get busy…I know I will.

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