Fantasy Friday: Yesterday
Dear Fantasy Forum,
Anonymously I signed in to my accounts, covered my identity in pseudonyms and, with my rough knowledge, tried covering my online tracks to avoid being exposed. The game is so tedious. Sign in, sign out, log in, log out, clear history, delete cache, modify preferences, etcetera, etcetera ad nauseam then delete, delete, delete. How else is a girl to feel secure online? “There are some real creeps out there,” everyone kept repeating. “I am so careful,” I told myself. Until the day I wasn’t.
We were mid chat and I mentioned, “Well… a girl has to have her anonymity.” His response, “Oh I forgot to tell you. I know who you are.” My heart was in my throat. At first I felt a little cocky thinking there is no way. I have a full personality out there to cover the real me. Pages of fake info, nothing with my real first and last and certainly no real DOB, address or digits to my phone. But there was the one little glitch. I got caught in the transfer process. So in a moment of truth I said, “Fine, What’s my name?”
The bottom dropped out when his response came back. FUCK! I was frozen as my actual name appeared on the screen. He already had me promise I wouldn’t run… like I had anywhere to go. FUCK! I am SUCH an IDIOT! Convincing me he was a good guy is one thing. Proving it is another. What IF… so many what if’s. So many berating thoughts filled my mind. I was completely numb. We continued to chat but my head wouldn’t stop. The chores, the drive, the dinner, the surfing but my head was consumed. WHY did I have to be so careless? Turns out it was as simple as forwarding an image from my phone. I missed one step. ONE! I never send images. When I post I always email, then download, then attach or upload. Copy, Cut, Paste Repeat. All I wanted to do was make it all happen quicker. It always happens with short cuts. Measure twice cut once. “Who else knows?” “Who else was I careless with?” I check and double check… no one.
So here I was at the moment of truth. Hearing the words he typed and wanting to trust my identity in the hands of someone I have never met. Someone I want to trust. So I get ready for bed and wait. I am pretty sure we will be meeting now. When just didn’t feel up to ME anymore. I knew it would be difficult to sleep. My insomnia had been at an all time high so I decided to shower before bed thinking better to try something to sleep than nothing and lie awake for hours. I let another hour and a half tick away with a slow paced movie to really make me drowsy. At the end I rolled over on to my stomach, curled my arms up to my head, cocked my right leg and nestled in to sleep.
I felt strong hands glide slowly and firmly up my calves to the backs of my knees. Slowly higher kneading and pressing as they traveled the length of my thigh until my ass cheeks were the only land left to climb. The firm warmth left and I felt the sudden sting of a slap to my right ass cheek. “Are you ready for me? Have you prepared yourself?” he whispered in my ear. I was dumb struck. I couldn’t move or speak. Suddenly his hand roughly investigated for itself to find in fact that no I was not. I hadn’t realized. How was this even possible? A warm liquid sensation came to my attention. He was adding the moisture he needed to make the necessary preparations. “I didn’t want to have to do this for you. But if I have to I will, and you WILL take it.” I was getting angry. But I had also wanted this, talked about this, needed this but I was having trouble. Why am I resisting?
My inner struggle remained right there in my head as his fingers moved over my sensitive flesh, pinching, rubbing, wiggling, and thrusting. Every movement was fluid. I reminded myself that I had made a pact, a verbal contract that my body was his to do with as he pleased. I also reminded myself that if I didn’t want this I wouldn’t be moaning and aroused as a very audible wimper and gasp escaped my lips as his skilled hands traversed my tightly strung instrument.
He could feel my muscles relax and tighten as he mapped the landscape of my body, hear my reaction to each resistance or welcoming of every area he touched and pushed the limits I had feared would be difficult due to my lack of experience. Before I knew it I was placed in position three. I was already relaxed but my mind fought me again. That was when I felt it. The hard numbing slap to my ass that I deserved for my contradiction. For my reversal of his hard work. It came again but this time with a hard pinch. He wanted me present and I wasn’t and for every moment I wasn’t he was going to remind me until I KNEW my body was not my own.
That was when I felt his tongue. His teeth grazed my lips. His mouth sucked at my fighting flesh and then it happened. I was present. Only feelings no more conflicts just acceptance. Like my psyche left the building and all that was left was one big raw nerve as my toes began to tingle and my thighs started to quiver. I gave him access and could feel his smile. It was my job to make him happy.
The bed dipped and changed. I tried hard to stay still. I just wanted to peek. I wanted to know what was coming next and he knew I wanted to. I felt his hand on the back of my neck. It was a precaution and a warning. I relaxed into his touch and he moved against me. Every movement was calculated and specific. I tensed as he thrust deep in one motion. I tried to swallow, to breath through the suddenedd of being filled. I should have known the slap was coming but the sting immediately brought me back. His hands wandered over my ass circling closer and closer to my tight little hole. I hadn’t done my job, I wasn’t ready and I was getting tense again. I gulped and kept trying to remember all of the women in my life who shared their experiences with me. I let their words and descriptions fill me with confidence and tilted my ass. That was all he needed to see before he thrust his well lubricated finger into me.
He just left it there. Waiting for me. The sensation was uncomfortable at first. My gradual relaxation was being wrought through his pressure and adjustments he made as he moved his cock in and out of my pussy. How was this happening? Where is my mind? All of those typed words. The connection, it was all being laid bare totaled and accounted for. Payment in full. Tears filled my eyes. This is what I wanted. My breath sawed in and out. I lept off of my precipice and was gone. Every last resistance left me. I closed my eyes relaxed and took it all in. “Holy vaginal orgasms Batman!” The climax I felt was monumental.
His kisses were there. He was so proud. He made me feel. I heard him whisper “You don’t think I am done with you yet, do you?”
My eyes tore open. I gasped and bolted upright. My breathing was still hard, my heart raced but now it was cold and dark. I was ALONE! How could that have been just a dream? FUCK!
to be continued…?