Time to Reboot
78% Would Rather Date a Confident Plus-Size Woman Than an Insecure Supermodel
As much confidence as I have recently found, it is still hard for me to talk about my body. I want to NOT care what others think. In fact, I have learned the hard lesson to distance myself from people I initially meet in order to simply to not care what they think. In my opinion to judge someone based on whether you are sexually attracted to them is disgustingly shallow. Now on that note, I DO in fact care what you think of me I just won’t tell you or indicate that I am hurt should you choose to share your socially inappropriate thoughts. There are some days I have to reboot my brain to see the sexy woman I truly am and because of this blog I have been feeling pretty awesome. So I went in search of other people who have the same motives.
The excerpts from following article are not necessarily about body positivity but have a message that I wanted to hear and share just the same.
DON’T TELL ME TO LOVE MY BODY by Elyse March 11, 2013
I want to talk to you about how you talk to me about how I talk about my body, and how I talk about how I feel about my body, and what’s wrong with everything you have to say about what I have to say.
In short, fuck you.
The problem is someone else telling me how to feel. The problem is being told that there is a standard of beauty, and I should ignore it. I should ignore it despite the fact that everyone is still holding me to it. I should ignore it and create my own. As long as it makes me feel pseudo-good, and makes other people feel okay with how I pretend to feel about me. But while we’re pretending the real-world standards don’t exist, the real world continues judging us—It’s okay to be more critical of a woman who’s accepted herself. She’s strong and can take it… In fact, wow, what a conceited bitch she must be to think she’s so great when she’s clearly not. Maybe someone needs to take her down. She really has no business acting like she’s as good as other people. (WTF?)
But here’s the thing… It’s okay to not love my body. It’s okay to not even like my body. They’re my feelings and it’s my body and I will use those feelings to feel however I want to about my body. I don’t need you to tell me how to feel.
We don’t have to find ourselves beautiful. Beauty is not the one thing that makes us and our bodies worth loving. We don’t have to distort an already fucked-up definition of beauty, and pretend we fit into it, just to feel like we are people worthy of being loved.
Stop telling women that we should find ourselves beautiful and that we should love ourselves when you are standing right there, judging us on how our knees look in short skirts and how prominent our boobs are in a sweater and how much makeup we are or are not wearing.
Instead of us working harder on “love your body” and “find your inner beauty”, the rest of the world should be working harder on “stop telling women their bodies are a shameful place to live but that if they’re strong enough, they will learn to embrace that shame.”
Read the Full Article: http://skepchick.org/2013/03/dont-tell-me-to-love-my-body/
Now another issue I have is being labeled “fat.” As if that defines ANYTHING about me. The word gives me the heebie jeebies because it means something different to each and every person. And titles like “7 Ways to be an Ally to you Fat Lover” and “How to Have Sex While Fat: A Short Guide to Sexy Fun for Fatties and People Who F#&@ Them” just turn me OFF! Yes I read them but I don’t need this advice personally, but there are people who do and it is nice that it is out there for them. I would hope that if I decided to have sex with someone that my body is NOT the ONLY reason they want to fuck me (Yeah this is what needed to be said in one of the articles…seriously?) So I won’t even waste your time repeating all the innately simplistic concepts of why I should have standards and confidence in order to have sex with whom ever I want IF we both want to and detailed instructions on how to go about that. DUH!
I am adorable, I am hilarious, I am awesome and hot sex is just a piece in the complicated puzzle that is me. SO THERE.