Today I am fascinated with the concept of Anticipation Addiction. The following articles touch on the source and reason for our reactions to dopamine addiction delayed gratification and how to improve on the pleasure of Anticipation!
ARE WE ADDICTED TO ANTICIPATION NOT REWARD?
Oct 10, 2011 at 8:02 am by David Bradley
My recent Research Highlight about “dopamine addiction“, raises a few intriguing points about how all addictive behaviour might be to do with the reward mechanism derived from rising dopamine levels in the brain that stimulate various pleasure centres. However, there is another way of looking at it: addiction is not about the reward of dopamine but the anticipation of that reward. US neurologist Robert Sapolsky explains the difference. It’s the uncertainty of the reward that drives behaviour and for humans that reward anticipation can last on the short timescale of slot machines at Las Vegas to the decades long anticipation of heaven’s unearthly estate for many.
This is a subtle shift in emphasis. We’re perhaps not addicted to the rewarding feelings of dopamine but to the anticipation of dopamine and thus to anything that sustains dopamine levels through that anticipation whether gambling, drugs, sex, or the pursuit of money, power and the religious endpoint. My original article asked whether dopamine is the most evil chemical in the world. In the light of Sapolsky’s argument, dopamine itself is not the evil chemical, just the possibility of dopamine…we’re not addicted to the chemical, we’re addicted to the possibility of the chemical.
THE JOURNEY OF SELF
7.7 The nature of desire, anticipation and ego
Desire by ego is a strong emotion that effects our whole being. As we have discussed the word by its original component parts translates as “to have a strong wish for, to long for, crave, to feel the want of, to miss.” As we also discussed, it is a peculiar word in that its Latin components parts de = “I”, sider = “consider” and ate = “infatuation” (ate= the Latinized version of the Greek goddess of infatuation, considered the goddess of misfortune and rash destruction).
What we anticipate, what we desire is often greater in mental stimulation than the gratification we receive. More so, it is often the stimulation derived from anticipation of gratification that gives us greater pleasure than the final gratification. Let us explain further what we mean.
7.7.1 The pleasure of anticipation for sex
Sexual anticipation is one of the greatest pleasures of the mind, surpassed only sometimes by the pleasure of sexual fantasy and masturbation.
What we mean is that the physical feelings experienced along with heightened stimulation from near anticipation of a sexual encounter where we find greater than level of overall sexual experience of the act.
To some, this might appear to be wrong and misguided, given our ability to recall moments of great sexual pleasure. However, are these memories exact? or are these memories accurate? For example, did the person we experience the sexual pleasure with look exactly like our memory of the experience? Did all of our memory of sexual pleasure come from the act, or did some of it come from the feeling of satisfaction in fulfillment of the expectation?
In this we explain fulfillment of expectation/desire as the goal of sexual pleasure with someone we have desired, someone we consider sexually attractive?
When we discount the memory of the pleasure derived from the fulfillment of desire/goal, is our memory of the actual sexual encounters still greater than our actual memory of the act?
Without the initial desire, without the anticipation, stimulation leading to the fulfillment would not necessarily be as pleasurable.
Thus, we see the mind, the ego, the desires of I playing a substantial part in the fulfillment of pleasure from the act.
TOP SEX SECRETS THAT WOMEN LOVE
27 JULY 2009
Anticipation is one of the best emotions a woman can feel. Telling her things such as “I have a surprise for you…” will tingle her silly as she anticipates the ‘surprise’. If you enjoy non-missionary sex once in a while maybe you should partake in a little ‘different’ situation and use a blindfold.
Using a blindfold will block out her sense of sight while increasing her other senses allowing her to experience every single stroke of her body that you provide. If you know your girlfriend or wife won’t enjoy this straight up, you could try easing it into a conversation and gauging her reaction. You never know, maybe it’s one of her top fantasies (hint #6!) that she has been waiting to act out.
You could also try stopping once you find something she really enjoys. When you find something that turns her on the act of stopping with create unspeakable amounts of anticipation as she waits for you to do it again.
The last article really hit it home for me and I read on and truly thought the site had a lot to say so be sure to read on and, by all means, ENJOY!