Doubleife – Because one life is never enough

Carpe Diem

Finally in the Driver’s Seat!

sexdrivefontOver the years I have had a wildly ranging Sex Drive that has both taken me for a ride placing me in the passenger seat to endure whatever came down the road or made me feel like I was in a parking lot locked in the car at an amusement park. I can see everyone having a great time, screaming with joy as they ride their own roller coaster, but for some reason couldn’t figure out how to get out and have fun to. I am finally in the drivers seat of my own sex drive and I am looking for answers.


A new journal article suggests that evolutionary forces also push women to be more sexual, although in unexpected ways.
tasteUniversity of Texas psychologist David Buss wrote the article, which appears in the July issue of Personality and Individual Differences, with the help of three graduate students, Judith Easton (who is listed as lead author), Jaime Confer and Cari Goetz. Buss, Easton and their colleagues found that women in their 30s and early 40s are significantly more sexual than younger women. Women ages 27 through 45 report not only having more sexual fantasies (and more intense sexual fantasies) than women ages 18 through 26 but also having more sex, period. And they are more willing than younger women to have casual sex, even one-night stands. In other words, despite the girls-gone-wild image of promiscuous college women, it is women in their middle years who are America’s most sexually industrious.

Read the Full Article:,9171,2007422,00.html


Experts say men score higher in libido, while women’s sex drive is more “fluid.

Women’s sex drives are more influenced by social and cultural factors.
In his review, Baumeister found studies showing many ways in which women’s sexual attitudes, practices and desires were more influenced by their environment than men:

  • Women’s attitudes towards (and willingness to perform) various sexual practices are more likely than men’s to change over time.
  • Women who regularly attend church are less likely to have permissive attitudes about sex. Men do not show this connection between church attendance and sex attitudes.
  • Women are more influenced by the attitudes of their peer group in their decisions about sex.
  • Women with higher education levels were more likely to have performed a wider variety of sexual practices (such as oral sex); education made less of a difference with men.
  • Women were more likely than men to show inconsistency between their expressed values about sexual activities such as premarital sex and their actual behavior.

Why are women’s sex drives seemingly weaker and more vulnerable to influence? Some have theorized it is related to the greater power of men in society, or differing sexual expectations of men when compared to women. Laumann prefers an explanation more closely tied to the world of sociobiology.
Women take a less direct route to sexual satisfaction.
Men and women travel slightly different paths to arrive at sexual desire. “I hear women say in my office that desire originates much more between the ears than between the legs,” says Esther Perel, a New York City psychotherapist and author of Mating in Captivity. “For women there is a need for a plot — hence the romance novel. It is more about the anticipation, how you get there; it is the longing that is the fuel for desire,” Perel says. (HELLO!!!!! Reading and Writing my ASS off here!!!! You’ve seen my ass it is very demanding and extremely self conscious.)
Women’s desire “is more contextual, more subjective, more layered on a lattice of emotion,” Perel adds. Men, by contrast, don’t need to have nearly as much imagination, Perel says, since sex is simpler and more straightforward for them.

That does not mean that men do not seek intimacy, love, and connection in a relationship, just as women do. They just view the role of sex differently. “Women want to talk first, connect first, then have sex,” Perel explains. “For men, sex is the connection. Sex is the language men use to express their tender loving vulnerable side,” Perel says. “It is their language of intimacy.”

Read the Full Article:

So I can be in the driver seat and get carried away in a car with no brakes because what really matters is that in reality I only have a finite amount of time left on this earth, I am a human being, I am a woman, and everything I am feeling is NORMAL!

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